This is what happens when you brag...

It was just a few weeks ago that I was going on and on, telling a friend of mine how my kids almost never get sick. So much for bragging. Here are the events of our household for the last three weekends:

Friday the 13th, Reiss had a seizure during which, he peed on me while I was holding him. Soon thereafter, we gave him his seizure medication (a rectal suppository). He then lost control of his bowels, resulting in the med getting expelled, for lack of a better word. He began to calm down but vomited two times and then began to seize enough to scare me into calling 911. That landed us with a trip to the ER for the morning and early afternoon.

The following Tuesday we received the invoice from the ambulance service and the hospital's invoice the day after that. How's that for compassion? Maybe the insurance company will avenge the transport company and the hospital for their lack of compassion by putting off payment for a month or so. Ha! Probably not. I am horrible, I know, and I do not care. It is hard to feel bad for others not getting paid as promptly as they might like when it involves your child's misfortune.

The Wednesday after the seizure, Reiss began vomiting. That lasted for three days along with explosive diarrhea at around 8PM almost every night. Our carpet is trashed in Reiss's room and ours. The diarrhea continued on into the weekend and early this week too. We feared leaving the house even with a backpack loaded with extra clothes for Reiss - and for Milla too, who still has potty accidents now and then. The one time we did venture out without extra clothing, we were at the Y when Milla peed in her pants and Reiss didn't make it to the bathroom. Sparing the details of that incident, suffice it to say Reiss came out of the bathroom having gone commando.

As we were driving home from picking up some takeout for lunch today, and just when we thought we were through the woods and still holding onto the prospect of a weekend without some sort of bodily fluid turning it sour, Milla transformed my SUV into a puke bucket on wheels. She did not eat lunch and soon afterwards, she and I fell asleep together in the living room chair. It was a refreshing little nap until I woke up with my stomach doing flip-flops too.

James and Reiss came home from buying some marigolds and other odds and ends things from "the green store," a.k.a. Menards. Reiss helped James plant the flowers and then they came in to clean up a bit. Not long after that, Reiss got a bloody faucet nose. Seriously, I really began to wonder if his nose was going to stop pouring blood. Ten minutes later, Milla vomited again.

Our last three weeks, but primarily the weekends, have been nothing but a series of negative bodily functions. Take this as a lesson and learn from my mistake: When you brag on your children's health (or whatever else), it will come back to haunt you. Should you choose to continue bragging anyway, just hope for your sanity that the haunting is not in the form of seizures, vomiting, diarrhea, bloody noses, or getting peed on. I know all of it sounds like a lot of fun, but as I have said before, not everyone can have special kids.