Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Autism's Latest Victim: Our Carpet


Autism has claimed its latest victim: our carpet.

If you are a parent who has a child with autism, reading the following will not even phase you. If anything, you will probably finish up here and nod your head in that been-there-done-that kind of way. If, however, you are a parent of a child without autism, consider yourself forewarned that the following may cause you to ruin your own carpet with a bout of vomiting.

Typically, once a child has surpassed the potty-training phase, also gone are the days for most parents when poop is a regular topic of conversation amongst friends. This is not the case with autism parents. Because the poop of children with autism can tell us so much about their bodies' internal workings, it actually becomes a main subject for talking amongst friends - it is one area in which nearly all autism parents bond. Really, it is the parents of neurotypical children who are missing out on all the real fun. My sympathies...not all parents can have a special child.

On with it, already. The victim's story...

We do not have a lot of carpet in our home, however, the three upstairs bedrooms have fairly new, relatively new, and five-year-old carpet in them. All are berber and all now have their fair share of stains on them, with Reiss's room and my husband's and my bedroom having the most recent stains.

Why do I blame autism for ruining our carpet? The answer is very simple, really. If it were not for autism, Reiss would most likely not have yeast overgrowth in his gastrointestinal tract and without yeast overgrowth, he would not need to be on a medication that has given him sudden, explosive diarrhea at around 8:00 every evening for the last week that causes him to utter that phrase no mother ever wants to hear: "I didn't make it."

While I do not enjoy cleaning up dribbles, puddles, smears, and spatters of diarrhea, I do take comfort in knowing that all this misery of playing maid of the messes is not without its reward, namely, all the yeast die-off which, aside from metals chelation, ranks pretty high on the list of holy grail goals for parents of children with autism.

So bring it on, autism! You can ruin my carpet and you can ensure my SpotBot remains gainfully employed in this house, but you will not break my spirit - for a Warrior Mom never gives up!

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