Build a school, build your own dreams

In Northern Ireland, the hope of attaining a ‘good’ education in a ‘good’ school (whatever that is) can depend on a number of things. For any child, some of the obstacles to attaining a good education include whether or not your child sat the 11 Plus, what postal code you live in, whether a child’s parents value education and are proactive about it and of course the academic ability and/or motivation of the child.

In terms of the 11 Plus exams, many parents are well aware that for their children who did not sit the exam that their child sat ‘in the back’ so to speak while the 11 Plus pupils got all the attention.

Separate curriculums, even separate classes are formed between the ‘smart ones’ and the others. Don’t believe me? Ask your son or daughter who did not sit the exam, what their schoolwork consisted of, just prior to and following exam time. Were they colouring in a lot of maps and being kept busy with ‘artwork’ while their peers were busy cramming in concepts, facts and figures with the full attention of all the teachers?

We all know there is a two track system in Northern Ireland best exemplified by the grammar schools. Regardless of the 11 Plus being phased out, it has already done its damage.

For our children on the spectrum the obstacles set against them include all the above and so much more. Large class size, over stimulating environments, curriculums that have not been modified, teachers and classroom assistants who have not been highly trained, teachers who can’t cope, the list goes on and on. Put our children in a class of 28 and most of the child's day could well be spent having teacher and aide calming down his overworked nervous system. My own child is incredibly bright. I know this. His 'active' presentation, however, would prevent him from coping in such a large class. He could be a veritable genius but if his sensory system is in overdrive, he won't be able to filter information in or out. So, does this mean special school for my child?

I do not want my child or any other child for that matter to be shunted into a ‘special’ school, the connotations of which, so often mirror reality. What I do want, however, is my son’s education to be specialized enough to meet his educational needs. Attempting to fit my child into a mainstream school where even ‘typical’ children are failing is not the answer.

Northern Ireland has a number of empty schools, schools that with very little effort could be used to create ‘autism’ schools. There is one of these empty schools near me. A good friend of mine pointed out ‘why are these schools lying empty when your child needs a school?’ Very good question. She further asked, ‘why don’t parents get together and create their own schools out of these empty buildings for their children?’ Another very good question.

There is no school available in Northern Ireland that is suitable for my child. The fact that a parent would have a very hard time obtaining a classroom assistant for their child in one of the ‘special’ school says it all – these people seem to think they are more ‘special’ than our children. Unfortunately, I do not see 'special' outcomes coming from these schools and in fact what I see is special schools that run from primary age to graduation. What exactly is the belief system of placing our children in a school that covers their education for 14 years. Clearly no one expects them to venture outside the special school system. This is so very wrong. This is the belief system that parents must vehemently counteract if they have any hope for their children's future.

If parents want schools for their children, schools that will specialize and will honour the opportunity to help our children, then parents must start demanding them. Why should we as parents accept what is on offer? The product is well past it’s sell by date and is actually starting to mould.

Have parents in Northern Ireland succumbed to the system just like the government and school boards hoped they would? Since when do we have to accept anything? Instead of governments telling us what to do, it is they who should and must listen to us, not the other way round. I see and hear parents complaining all the time, each carrying out their own personal battle with the authorities and schools, each in isolation, each signifying nothing to the bigger picture except isolated bouts of disruption. Even if a parent launches an appeal and tribunal regarding the education of the child, unless it's going to create a precedent in law, the impact of such is not felt in the wider community (despite the danger of potentially causing a nervous breakdown in the parent due to stress)

All of these isolated voices of parents that are battling the system get lost and never come together. Despite the fact that there are five autism charities in the North, the voices of parents continue to make very little impact. Parents are separated, corralled and effectively silenced by the fact they are not coming together as one.

There is a big difference between being bitten by one spider and being bitten by ten. Parents could be those 10 or 1000 spiders. They would need to be because they are fighting mosquitos, the pesty bug that will suck the blood from you and your child if you don't swat it.

Who will take up the gauntlet in Northern Ireland and bring the voice of all parents together? Our children are not 'special', no more special than any of God's other creatures. All children are special. Our children are, however, extraordinary and exceptional and I truly believe that children who have autism intimidate a lot of people particularly those who fear autism and do not or will not make efforts to understand the condition.

If you are a parent of a child who has a diagnosis of autism you know how intelligent, intuitive and sensitive your child is.

I personally can recount stories to you about my child that I have never heard repeated by another parent. My heart has soared at some of the things my son has achieved, things that have been so incredibly and awe inspiringly brilliant!

Every parent, without a doubt has some amazing stories to tell about their child. Are teachers and the Department of Education afraid of what our children might achieve? It would set a very dangerous precedent if our children started 'achieving' beyond the belief systems of these people! A veritable 'pandoras' box would soon open. There would be no going back to suppressing and repressing our children and their parents. The Department of Education, I think, is terrified of providing opportunities for our children to grow because the flood gates would open to possibilities and all of that costs dearly. Best to keep parents and their children in a holding pattern. It starts with the negative attitudes of the diagnosing paediatrician and it ends with your child still at home at the age of 25.

I ask all of you who are parents to take one hour and really think about what kind of educational environment you really want for your child. Try to exclude the niggling comments from your child's teacher that he is 'happy' (he might not be happy at the age of 18 when he hasn't got the skills to get a job or a girlfriend) Talk to your fellow parents and compare notes about what you really want for your child. Then ask yourself 'are these things achievable?'

I believe all things are possible but that nothing comes unless the work is put in. No one is going to work for our children without parents becoming vocal, empowered and fully accountable. My own child's education is my responsibility and I have not and never would leave such an important part of my child to anyone else. Not only am I responsible for seeing that he achieves, I am also responsible to ensure he is not permanently damaged by the school system. We have all seen this happen too many times.

If anyone out there is interested in creating 'good' schools for our children, please let me know. If necessity is the mother of invention, there has never been more need. If anyone tells you it can't be done, question their motives and ask them why they believe what they say is true. Only I know what my child needs and only I know what I want. I expect as parents, you are the same.

We can change the future for our children. 'Tick tock, tick tock....what are we waiting for?