It is way too late, yet here I sit. On the computer. Slouching and wide awake. Guess that's what I get for eating three fun-size York Peppermint Patties less than an hour before bedtime. What can I say...we don't keep candy around here much anymore but when we do, I go cuckoo for cocoa puffs.
I will pay tomorrow morning for this late night rendezvous with my laptop but who cares - the patties were darn good and I'm getting in quality computer time in utter silence. Forget York, quiet is the real treat in this house. No dishwasher running. No dryer tumbling. No air conditioner humming. But most importantly, no children hanging on me nursing, whining, crying, pulling my toes apart (Reiss), or otherwise making it impossible for me to savor my surf time.
Today we did the Walgreens and CVS runs. Both were fairly uneventful except for the entertainment we provided for the elderly couple in the candy aisle at CVS. Reiss kept alternating between "I gotta poop!" and "I wanna go get french fries!"
The older gentlemen found this quite amusing and Reiss asked, "Why was that guy laughing?" Hmmm....I don't know, Reiss. Do you think it may have been the fact that you were announcing to the world that you have to poop at a volume of about twenty-seven when you should be at about a two?
But of course I didn't say that.
We did go get french fries afterwards despite the fact that it was a reward promised only on the condition of good behavior. Really, neither of the monkeys behaved especially badly, just not ideal. But then, I've gotten used to things not being ideal when we go out.
Unfortunately, I wonder if I will ever know if I'm being too picky and this is the way most (almost) two- and four-year-olds act or if this is just the way things are because of the autism. And no, I'm not referring to the poop announcements. I'm talking about how things never seem to be just fun and carefree for us, like they seem for so many of my friends with children. They talk about all their adventures out and about with their kids and when I try to visualize my family doing the same kinds of things, I practically have an anxiety attack just imagining the outcome because of so many past experiences we've had. That's not to say we don't take Reiss places and keep right on trying.
However, here's a "for instance"...........
A friend of mine recently took her own two sons to an amusement park. Now, both of her sons fall in different areas of the autism spectrum but they are very different from Reiss - as all children with ASD are. Anyhow, she told me all the rides the boys went on and how they just loved the excitement of it all and had a ball.
Now, my visualization.....And remember, I am trying to remain positive but I also know Reiss and I know our past experiences and I also know things he tends to like and dislike and what will usually cause a tantrum.....
Let's imagine an amusement park setting and the most non-scary ride possible. A ride made just the perfect size and with just the right amount of fun for a four-year-old.....I'm thinking something like bumper boats. With that in mind, the first thing that comes to mind is Reiss having a fit because a drop of water will get on him. Should we actually get past the water on him and make it into the boat, there will probably be some water lingering in the bottom of the boat that will get his shoes wet. And if we make it past that even and get moving in the boat without any water tantrums, it will probably then be a matter of there only being one steering wheel in the boat (I'm imagining a boat that holds two people).
Again, I really do try to stay positive and even my fears like the above do not keep us from taking Reiss places just in case that one time is the time when he is compliant and ready to have a good time. However, so far, that has not been the case at amusement parks.....To be honest, we haven't even gone to an amusement park with Reiss yet. We haven't gotten past going to the little church fairs and carnivals yet because I figure why waste a boatload (no pun intended here, given my above example) of money on admission at a large theme park when we can't even get Reiss in the silly rides and amusements of a dinky little church fair? Yes, believe me, we have tried.
And here's the positive....Baby steps.....that's all I can say. Not terribly long ago, Reiss wouldn't even let go of James or me out in public. Now he fights to have his hand held in a parking lot. He would cry hysterically when we would take him to the indoor bounce house place. You know, the kind of place typical three-year-olds beg to to be taken? Nope, not Reiss. We were just lucky that the employees were so willing on many of those visits to let us go in without paying admission to see if Reiss would "warm up" to the place....only to leave with him crying - and not because he was leaving, but because he didn't want to be there to begin with. Now he even sees the place when we are out driving and he wants to go there.
Baby steps......While others are out living it up with their children, I'm being thankful that Reiss is as fortunate as he is. As depressed as I sometimes get, I really do realize how fortunate he and we are. Reiss does talk, albeit too much, but thank goodness, he is not non-verbal like so many autistic children we know. Reiss doesn't have nearly the physical problems many autistic children have. Yes, we have our bouts of constipation and he's on more supplements than most professional athletes but Reiss is generally healthy. Reiss lacks back and forth conversational skills but at least he answers different types of questions (think "who," "what," - "why," "when," and "how" are still areas of confusion for him) many times now when asked. As short as a few months back, there were times when I wanted to rip my hair out because he wouldn't even answer "yes" or "no" questions. Baby steps........
Blah, blah, blah......is anyone still reading?
By the way, am I the only one who doesn't have a clue what to put in the "Title" box when I start writing a post, but then figure it out once I've started or just as I'm finishing? Yes? No? Anyhoo......guess you see where the title of this post came from. And I bet it has nothing to do with what you imagined it would be when you began reading.
Nuh-night!
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