Which award, you say? Why, only the most suburban housewife coveted award, of course! No, not the Soccer Mom-of-the-Year trophy. This award is much more well-deserved, yet achievements leading up to it are never thought out or planned for in advance. I'm talking about the Public Mommy Tantrum Medal of Honor.
Yes, my motherly patience was put to the test today while waiting on a cash register error to be corrected at Walgreens (only one of my most favorite stores in the world) today. This week's ad clearly states the new product by Soft Soap called Nutri Serums Body Wash is free after $3.99 in Register Rewards.
Before paying today, I specifically requested to pay in Cosmetics because there was a girl working over there and I had seven coupons and just about every time I go to Walgreens, I have a problem. And really, who wants to be that person at the main register at the front of the store holding up the line because the $.50 coupon for tampons (or whatever) didn't ring up correctly? Not me! I love my coupons and I can be maniacal about them (just ask my husband) but I'm also not going to stand there while twenty people are rolling their eyes at me for wanting to get my fifty cents deducted (hey, I worked hard for that!). Cut me some slack - I'm not a masochist.
Yes, Walgreens is one of my favorite stores in the whole world but it doesn't change the fact that there always seems to be a problem every single time I pay them a visit. Really....every time. My husband knows better when I say, "I will be right back" as he drops me at the door and waits in the car with the kids. I never come right back and unfortunately, it's almost never by any fault of my own.
Oh no - No, when I'm at Walgreens, if it's not an item ringing up incorrectly, it's something else. Sometimes they scan all my coupons (oh yes, I do watch them!) but then I get my receipt and something is missing from the coupon deductions. Today's issue was my Register Reward did not print for the body wash.
By the way, body wash is one of those things on my list of toiletries where my motto is as follows: "If you're paying for it, you're paying too much money." Between all the freebies I've gotten over the years from CVS Extra Care Bucks and Walgreens Register Rewards (formerly from their rebate catalog), I haven't paid out of pocket for razors, toothbrushes, shampoo, conditioner, or body wash (and the list goes on and on) in years. And I have enough stocked to keep us in business, or clean at least, for a few years to come.
Anyhoo....getting off-track here as usual. And gee, I wonder why my kids can't sit still for five minutes just to watch some cartoons and give me a break.
So my Register Reward did not print and Lucy Loo Hoo, the cashier, had to call the 12-year-old manager over to get the problem fixed and of course, that meant waiting for what seemed like an eternity.
Somewhere in all this, my monkey children saw the opportunity for attack. Or more specifically, Reiss saw his window of opportunity to grab about twenty gossip rags from the rack fastened to the checkout counter and have his own little drugstore party. I've never seen so many photos of Jon Gosselin all in one place! He was on the floor, in the cart, on the counter. It was like a Jon-apalooza!
After cleaning up the Gosselin mess (I bet Kate wishes it were this easy for her too!), I had to enforce the one-hand-on-the-cart rule, which is almost always a sure sign of a coming tantrum. Luckily, this time it wasn't. Instead of a tantrum, Reiss started grabbing bottle after (breakable) bottle of brightly colored nail polish from a display and placing - or perhaps, dropping is a better word for what he was doing - them on the floor at his feet. Thank goodness, none of them broke.
All the while, I was doing my best Michelle Duggar-esque picture of saintly motherhood while waiting on the manager to get
Eventually, the manager arrived.......E. Vent. Ually.
Frankly, I thought I was doing a pretty good job of being patient and staying calm while my little angels (I have to use the plural form so as not to sound as though Reiss was the only guilty party - but for the record, he was) attempted to bring Walgreens - or at the very least, the entire Cosmetics department - crashing to the ground.
However, maybe my version of the story is skewed and/or biased because I witnessed no less than three gawking individuals quickly turn their heads as I rose from picking up the fingernail polish bottles. They were all older folks too, so I'm sure they were doing the "Parents these days, good grief...." line in their heads. I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself for using restraint and not using the "He's autistic, you ___hole!" line I learned from one of Jenny McCarthy's books.
Several strewn magazines, unbroken fingernail polish bottles, and maybe all of ten minutes later we were on our way out the door with our $3.99....in cash, because 12-year-old manager girl didn't know how to make a Register Reward print after the fact.
Oh yeah...I forgot to mention the best part of our Walgreens trip. As I was picking out candy bars for Daddy for free ($.49 each plus a $1 off 2 coupon = FREE!), Reiss said "Why are we getting dog food?" Oh, I've taught him well! And this is why my kids never - really, NEVER - beg for candy in the checkout lines.
BWA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!
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