This autism thing is wearing on me the last few days. It seems to be a cyclical condition in which I have a few really great days and then a few bad or really bad days. Today has not been bad, it has just been a reminder that I no longer lead a carefree lifestyle like so many parents of typical children. If I sound bitter or envious, I'm a big enough person to admit that some days I am. However, I am working through it and am learning to accept that my family does not have the luxury of spontaneity or the same options available to us that many families do. I suppose it's a pretty good thing that I accomplished a lot and travelled more than most before having children.
What would most likely be a fairly easy outing for most parents was nerve-wracking for me today. I had a list of places to go and I knew it would not be completed before coming home but wanted to do as much as possible. Although we left around what is typically lunchtime for us, I was keeping a positive frame of mind knowing that lunch in the car was not totally unreasonable now that Milla is of an age where she can feed herself and Reiss usually does well at keeping the messes to a minimum. And after all, I didn't get leather seats and an expensive stain treatment for nothing.
We stopped and I got the two monkeys an order of fries each and a drink apiece (I love the value menu!) and some chili for myself. Before anyone thinks I'm starving my children, let me explain why they only got fries and drinks. Chicken nuggets are out of the question - they contain gluten. Hamburgers (plain and bunless) many times go uneaten without a ton of poking and prodding and sometimes all-out begging. Not exactly what I wanted to deal with in the car. Going inside to eat remains in that uncharted territory for me as far as doing things without my husband along to assist. Yes, I know, two children should not be a challenge but that's also very easy for people to say when they don't have a child who runs at every opportunity. Getting off track, as usual, anyone reading is probably still wondering why they only got fries and drinks. Simple! They don't eat much. What they got was plenty for them and I prefer to keep their nutritional needs in check on a daily basis rather than worry about it from a meal-by-meal standpoint. Translation? They got protein with breakfast and they'll get it again at dinner, along with a ton of veggies.
Back-tracking here a bit about Reiss and him running away from me.....Don't even get me started by saying, "Well, get a leash!" I have nothing against child restraints when they work but every one I've seen has the same type of buckle as the one we have and Reiss knows how to get out of that one.
Don't even get me started on the "Teach him about danger and not to run...." Most children with autism don't even get the concept of danger. Police and fire personnel in many cities are now being given classes and information regarding how to handle people with autism spectrum disorders so as to avoid situations like the Hawthorne incident and others similar to it that occasionally sprinkle the news and - even if for a short period of time - raise autism awareness in communities. Don't believe me? Look HERE.
Okay, so enough of me trying to defend myself and my failed attempts to teach Reiss about safety and not running from me in public places. Here is how our day unfurled.....
I checked the diaper bag to be sure we had plenty of Pull-Ups in there since Reiss is not potty-trained and Milla is starting to potty-train. Oh, the joys of potty-training two children at one time is just too much excitement, especially during those times when one is peeing on the floor and the other is unrolling an entire toilet paper roll. Most importantly though, I placed our new go-everywhere-with-us Diastat injector case into the bag. When Reiss had his seizure, we were lucky he was not placed on regular meds to be taken daily, but rather, given a prescription for Diastat to be injected only if another seizure should occur. Good: No daily meds. Bad: Remembering to have the Diastat with us at all times.
As I mentioned before, we left right around lunch time so the first thing on our agenda was food and getting some of it from a drive-thru. We did that and ate in the car and moved on.
Next, we went to the local YMCA to talk to someone about renewing our membership - but more specifically, about how things would be handled with Reiss and his autism. I wanted to be assured in the feeling of security that the care he would receive is appropriate and experienced. I needed to know if it is a problem that he's not potty-trained and would they know how to handle a seizure and blah, blah, blah. See what I mean about craving some normalcy? I wish I could just go in just like nearly everyone else and fill out a few forms and be done with it and start working out but it doesn't work that way for us anymore.
On the bright side, after talking to the woman I spoke with about our concerns, I feel rejoining the Y is a good move for our family and I hope to do it this week. We didn't do it today because Milla was getting all cranky-pants on me with it being early afternoon and near naptime and we might as well take James with us to do it all at the same time and save ourselves some time later of having to have his ID made on a separate date.
Next up was the health food store. We definitely do our part in shopping with local businesses and helping them stay in business. The two health food stores close to us receive more
Speaking of Bell & Evans, if you haven't tried this product and you don't mind paying the equivalent amount of money as say, a filet-mignon from the fresh meat case at the grocery store, I highly recommend their chicken nuggets. That said, we only eat them when I a)forget to thaw something for dinner or b)am feeling lazy and don't want to cook what I did thaw for dinner or c)want something that tastes like it came from out but don't want to pay to go out. They're expensive but convenience food doesn't come cheap when one has so many dietary restrictions. On a side note, if you come across the Bell & Evans chicken patties, all I can say is, "Back away from the freezer case." Honestly, I don't know how a company can make one product such a rockstar and another so gross I wouldn't feed it to the dog who roams the neighborhood. Oh wait, yes I would. That's exactly what I did when I served the patties for lunch one day and no one in our family took more than two bites.
Distracted again. Oh well, you guys are used to it by now. From the Y, and for most of the way to the health food store, Reiss and I had the "You run, we leave" conversation. I thought he had absorbed it and maybe this one time I wouldn't be "that parent" subject to the whispers and stares we so often get but alas, about ten minutes into my overstepping the bounds of just going in and grabbing what we needed and into the browsing segment of our visit, Reiss ran into another aisle. We already had the chicken and some organic popcorn (I've been wanting to try a recipe that calls for Chinese five-spice blend and some other things mixed and poured over popcorn), so I had to act on the you-run-we-leave rule.
We got our purchases rang and paid for and I comtemplated our next stop to Bed Bath & Beyond to get a salad spinner. However, Milla was way past due for getting home so that is where we headed. Back home. Back to the security of our haven of our own version of normalcy.
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