Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Herbivores? Cannibals? Or Both?

My SUV is one of those that has a drop-down tv screen for viewing DVD's. I've said it before, I'll say it again - we chose this vehicle because of the safety ratings it received, not because of all the little extras included in it.

Don't get me wrong, I do love the heated leather seats. They're especially handy when you live in a place where the average daily temperature is forty degrees (Fahrenheit) for around six months out of the year - and many times far below freezing. I also love the little screen on the dash between the two front seats that keeps me informed of such things as my gas mileage average, which direction I'm headed - north, east, south, or west, how many miles I have left to drive before we have to call roadside assistance for a fillup...well, you get the idea. And by the way, no, I have never had to call roadside assistance for anything yet and definitely not for a tank fillup! Give me some credit...

As is so often the case, I'm getting off-track here. We bought a used vehicle and because of that, some of the goodies it has are things we never would have paid extra for if buying a new vehicle, that is, if we were to ever buy a new vehicle, which we will probably never do again. One of those "extras" that we never would have opted for is a DVD player but since it was already in the SUV, it's kinda like an added bonus.

For around three weeks now, we have heard the same words recited to us and been serenaded to by the same DVD that has been playing over and over and over whenever we are out driving to preschool, playgroups, or whatever other destinations that come around on our weekly routine. By now, I should know every word of Veggies Tales: The Star of Christmas but I don't and that's probably because my mind tends to wonder while it plays in the background, or in the backseat as it may be. And while my mind travels, it tends to make me question a few things child-related such as.....

1. What do the characters of the Veggie Tales eat? If they eat other fruits and veggies, does that make them herbivores? Or does it make them cannibals? Or worst case scenario, are they herbivorous cannibals? I have seen a few Veggie Tales episodes where they were eating. In one, they were eating cheese stuffed crust pizza so apparently, they do eat animal products. Does that include meat as well?

2. How is it that I, one of the most clueless people I know when it comes to all things child-related, can know about washable crayons, markers, and paints yet, some teachers (not any of my son's teachers, thank goodness) don't even seem to be aware of the existence of these products? At least once per week, one friend or another will tell me about their son/daughter coming home with crayon/marker/paint on their brand-spanking-new shirt/pants/dress that did not come out in the wash even after being pre-treated with Spray~N~Wash/OxyClean/Tide to Go. We're talking about people who make their living in a profession where they are surrounded by children nearly every working day. But they don't know about washable crayons??? Seriously, I think Crayola missed the boat on this one - they have totally missed out on a marketing opportunity for an entire group of consumers.

3. If necessity is the mother of invention, does that explain how Corelle plates came into the world? Was the inventor of these wonderful unbreakables a mother who grew tired of having her everyday china shatter on the floor during each mealtime gathering?

4. Why are so many of the characters in shows geared towards children personified animals that would - in real life - prefer to eat toddlers as a snicky-snack rather than dance around and play with them? Let's see here, for example...Barney...Zak & Wheezie (Dragon Tales)...Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too!

5. What exactly was Dr. Seuss smoking? Need I say more?

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