Not a huge Nickelback fan here, but I do love this song. It reminds me of the important things and to stay on track....Enjoy!

And The Mission Continues....

Or, perhaps I should say, its objectives are expanding and my motivation has been reignited.

It is a new year and while many people have resolved to lose weight and are charting out their latest weight loss plan - and yes, as with every year, I'm doing that too - I am researching different treatments to recover my child from autism. As I draw closer to the end of reading A Child's Journey Out Of Autism by Leeann Whiffen, I can feel the inspiration building inside of me to act on my child's behalf. I am totally certain Leeann hoped to have this exact effect on parents when they read her book.

Around this time last year, Reiss had only been diagnosed a few weeks beforehand and reality had set in like a meteor pounding me into the ground. At the time, my family's mission seemed so simple: Pull Reiss out of this fog of autism. I was motivated. I was reading everything I could get my hands on. We - my husband and I - were going to change the world. Okay, not the world. But we were going to beat this awful child-stealing disability that robbed Reiss of a typical childhood and has rocked our family's world in ways no one can possibly fathom unless they have walked in these shoes.

The mission's objective is simple. Actually accomplishing it is the hardest thing we have ever set out to do.

We are doing "the autism diet" that so many of us parents use in treating our autistic children (yet, I'm surprised by the number of parents I meet who never even give it a try). Reiss and Milla both take several supplements every day, some of them two times per day. Reiss is in developmental preschool and Milla is in speech therapy but there are always those nagging questions of whether or not we are doing what is right or if we are doing enough. With much consideration, I am without a doubt that we are doing the right thing but I don't think we are doing enough.

Reiss goes to developmental preschool provided by our local school system four days per week. I have mentioned on many occasions how much I adore his teacher and her aides. They are gentle and caring and have a knack for reaching out to Reiss in ways that result in productivity on his part and only a minimal number of tantrums. He receives group occupational therapy, structured playtime and social interaction - all necessary elements for a child of preschool age and in his situation. However, here is where I feel we are neglecting one of Reiss's crucial needs: social development.

Reiss is incredibly smart. He has excellent verbal and communications skills. There are some days when he totally surprises the heck out of me in how he can pick up on certain things I would have thought were beyond his thought capacity. When he's not trying his best to annoy Milla, he plays very well with her - so well, that if an unaware stranger was to pop in on us and observe the two of them playing together, he or she may have difficulty believing Reiss even has autism (but he or she isn't here to see all the other moments of our day either). Yet, he still lacks social skills. He wants to be a friend to people. He reaches out to others somewhat. For example, he will walk up to total strangers and ask them their names. What I want to give attention to though, is the social awkwardness.

Social interaction with other children is incredibly important for a child but for a child with autism, a child whose social skills are lacking at best, it is nothing if there is not some sort of individualized social development program in place. I love that Reiss is around other children while he is at school but many of them are taking a ride on the same boat as he is - meaning they, too, have autism - and his one teacher and two aides have so many children under their supervision - sixteen, when I last asked.

Some of the children in his class do not have autism but they all have at least some type of special learning.....disability. I hate that word. My point is this, his teachers must feel overwhelmed. Even if they do not feel that way, I do. I feel Reiss needs something more - not something to replace preschool but something in addition to it - where he can acquire social skills that allow him to have actual relationships with other children and, dare I say it, friends.

With all that said, my next step is to exhaust myself with researching and finding an RDI - Relationship Development Intervention - program to implement into our growing list of treatments and therapies.

There never seem to be the resources in our area that I seek so off I go to search for a needle in a haystack.

By the way, Viv, if you're reading...I didn't go back to bed after all after facebook-ing you. I hope you did though, and were able to get some blissful, delicious sleep!

Happy New Year to ALL! I hope each and every one of you and your loved ones made it safely and happily into 2010. May this year bring joy and prosperity and progress to all.

For the "Out With the Old, In With the New" contest giveaway, the winner is:

Missy

Missy will receive a gently used copy of the book Cowboy & Wills written by Monica Holloway. Congratulations, Missy!!!

(Missy, per the contest guidelines, please send an email message by January 4th containing your mailing address with "Blog Giveaway" in the subject line of the message to my email address listed on my profile at the bottom left of your screen when you scroll over "Email.")

My "Out With The Old, In With The New" Giveaway

Recently, I won a copy of the book Cowboy & Wills in a giveaway hosted by Chrissy over at Spectrum Hope. I am now finished reading it and have moved on to A Child's Journey Out of Autism written by Leeann Whiffen. I would love to "pay it forward" by passing Cowboy & Wills on to someone else and what better way to do so than with an "Out With The Old, In With The New" giveaway? It's kinda like I'm getting rid of the old book to make way for the new book.

To enter this giveaway, simply leave me a comment on this post regarding whatever you like. If you are not a parent of a child with autism, perhaps you could let everyone know why you want to learn more about it. Or, if you are a parent of a child with autism, maybe you could tell a little about how you came to learn of your child's diagnosis. Or you could just tell me what a fabulous blog I've got going here.

Just kidding, folks! If you wanna enter, leave me a comment about anything - assuming it is appropriate for a family-oriented blog.

January 2nd I will choose a winner at random and post the name in my blog post for that day. The winner will have until January 4th to send me a message to my email address listed at the bottom left corner of my profile page (when you scroll over "Email" on the profile page), including mailing address. Winner: Please type "Blog Giveaway" in the subject line of your email message.

Good luck!!! Have a safe and Happy New Year to ALL!!!!!!!

So Much to Blog, So Little Time...

So I better get started while there is peace and sleeping children.

Where do I begin?

Today has been a day of super highs and downright lows. It all started with me patting myself on the back for thinking ahead last night and sitting out some roast cuts on the stove for around two hours and then placing them in the garage refrigerator overnite to thaw. Actually, I'm pretty good about that planning ahead thing when it comes to dinner but roasts take a long while to thaw and even with that amount of time out of the freezer, they were still practically solid this morning. No matter, I seasoned them up and pre-browned them prior to tossing them in the crockpot with some new potatoes and baby carrots. We also have some leftover green beans and corn mixed together that need to get gone. This type of mixture is what my mom always called succotash but I have since then come to learn that true succotash is lima beans and corn....not grean beans. Dinner, done! Score! One point for Mommy!

Next up was showering. I try not to complain about it too awful much but I rarely get a shower during the day when Reiss is home and Daddy is not. Most mothers can just throw their tots in front of the tv and trot off to the bathroom for a few minutes of blissful hot water raining down on them. Not me. If you read this blog at all, you know Reiss does not watch tv. And left unsupervised.....well, that doesn't happen. Enough said. Having said all that, I decided I would go ahead and try to take a shower this morning anyway. It must have been some kind of Christmas miracle because I was able to get in the shower, lather up, rinse and get out with the house still standing. Granted, it was only three minutes but it was probably the best three minutes I've had all day. Score! Another point for Mommy!

Apparently, I must have been getting a little cocky with all my triumphs of the morning because soon thereafter, the mayhem began. We had gone out for a quick few errands and had returned home.

A little about our trip out first.....

While we were out, I saw a man turn into a cigarette and lottery ticket store and do an almost complete donut on the icy parking lot. I don't think he meant to do it, but it unnerved me just a bit because he turned into the place going way too fast. Had he spun just a few feet farther over from where he did, he would taken out at least three cars. Good job, buddy! Now go in there and buy some cigarettes so you can kill just a few more brain cells.

At one point while out, we were driving in another parking lot and I saw a girl in what had to be no less than five-inch heeled boots with an ice pick thin spike serving as the heel. All that.....walking across an icy, snowy parking lot. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or be impressed. All I know is that I was this close (visualize my thumb and forefinger coming together as close to one another as possible without actually touching) to rolling my window down and clapping. But I didn't.

One of our errands included going through a drive-thru and getting some lunch to take to James. Just as we entered the parking lot to the fast-food joint, some lady pulling away from the pickup window was either oblivious to me driving in the parking lot or simply felt she owned the place because she just started pulling out right in front of me. Luckily this parking lot wasn't icy or I'm sure I would have slid into her after having to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting her. I had to lay on the horn. Okay, maybe I didn't have to but I wanted to get her attention. And then, of course, as he always does when I beep at someone, Reiss had to ask me, "Mommy, why'd ya' beep at them?" And, of course, I wanted to say, "Because that lady had her head in her rear, sweetie." But I didn't.

Back home again, chaos ensued quite rapidly.

On the way home, Milla fell asleep in the truck so once we arrived home, I took her out and brought her into the living room and laid her down in a chair. Reiss was playing in the garage. Milla was snoozing with sweet little toddler snores barely audible over the heating ducts spewing out warm air since I had cranked the heat up immediately upon entering the house . I had turned the heat all the way down to 66 when we left and it must not have taken long for it to get that cold in here with the arctic temps outside because it was all the way down to that temperature and we were not gone long at all. So all was well in my world and then some psychotic battery-operated vtech bug toy decided to go off all on its own and make a musical wakeup call to Milla. Score! Psychotic toy, one point!

Reiss came in from playing in the garage and told me he had to poop so we went to the master bathroom and we both sat in there doing our business. Reiss on the toddler potty and me on the regular toilet. I was done before Reiss and got up and flushed. The toilet seemed to be taking longer than usual to refill the tank but I didn't think anything of it and next thing I knew water was spilling over the edges all over the place. Good thing Reiss had finished up because I needed to get him up to clean up the flood. Amidst that disaster, the shirt Reiss had taken off and placed at his feet had gotten soaked. As I tried to contain the flood, Reiss treated me to an extended length tantrum, extolling the extreme grief I caused him by not allowing him to wear the "pee shirt." Bad Mommy! I am just so mean.

Score! Psychotic toilet, one point!

Next up we went to the basement to see if there were any visible traces of the great flood of December '09. I didn't see anything and was glad of that because maybe it means that our contractor actually got something else right and the floor really is water-proofed.

While we were in the basement Reiss and Milla played with some toys that we just recently banished to the downstairs play area to make room for the Christmas toy explosion. Reiss was pushing around some robot toy and somehow landed flat on his face. The first time he did it, he laughed and got right back up. A few minutes later, I heard him pushing around the robot again, a cracking noise, a falling noise, and then Reiss crying. I went into the hallway and quickly picked him up to find blood pouring out of his nose. I'm not entirely certain what happened, as I couldn't get Reiss to answer my questions very well but I think he was pushing the toy around with his head down and ran into the door jam. Score! House, one point!

Finally, it was naptime and that leads us up to now.

I swear, the adventures of my daily life often read like a manuscript for a movie entitled "Manic Mommy" or some other hysterical comedy at which I am usually the only one not laughing but it doesn't get much better than this. There is peace and sleeping children, a fully cooked meal in the crockpot, and a husband who made it home safely and is crashing Bigfoot trucks all over the place on our new Wii.

The No Nonsense Zone

I will be the first to admit that sometimes my mouth gets me in trouble. Sometimes I say things that just don't need to be said and other times I say things that probably don't need to be said but, at the same time, some people need to hear. My no nonsense approach may have been handed down to me from my mother. Maybe it was acquired when I was in the military. Or perhaps it may just be a side-effect of my own concrete way of thinking. I don't know how I got to be this way but this is me and this is a No Nonsense Zone.

Just this evening was a good example of one of those times when I opened my mouth and said something I think some of the people needed to hear. Unfortunately, I don't think what I was really trying to say is what was heard by those who really needed to hear it.

Off and on today whenever I was on my computer and scrolling through my "live feed" on facebook, one message kept appearing. Several of my facebook friends said it. They all used a different way to say it, but it was the same message all the same: I want Christmas Break - or to be more politically correct, Holiday Break - to be over and I want my kids back in school.

I shot back with a comment of my own on my profile stating:
"(My full name).....thinks it's interesting how people will brag on how cool their kids are during regular school scheduling (when they are away all day) and then, a break comes along and every other comment on my fb feed is how they want their kids to go back to school. Let the flinging begin! If I can handle one w/autism & another w/dev... delays, I think I can handle the backlash this one might cause."

Depending on where you live in the country if you are in the United States, it's likely that today, December 21st, is the first day of a two-week (or more for some) break from school. When I see people complaining about wanting their kids gone and back in school on the very first day of a holiday break, I can't help but wonder what is so bad that they are looking forward to having their kids gone after such a short period of time. Worse yet, I wonder how their children feel. Seriously, that kind of attitude must radiate outwardly - and not only in the form of a facebook update for all to see.

Some people may think I'm judging and maybe I am. I don't think so. When a person comes right out and says that they want their child back in school, after only having them around for a little while...well, honestly, I think it is really sad and it pains me to wonder what kind of parental image the child involved has of their parents.

My husband and I deal with a lot of stress and a lot of challenges on a daily basis facing what we do with one child with autism and one with developmental delays. And yes, there are days when I need a break and the only break I am afforded is the three hours that Reiss is in preschool. So I'm not saying I never want a break and that I have to have my kids around me all the time (For the record though, while Reiss is at preschool I still have Milla so it's not much of a break.). Really, I am normal. I want a break now and then just as much as anyone.

That said, even as stressful as things get to be sometimes around here and as exhausted and rundown as I get, I still don't wish for my kids to be gone. I look forward to getting mommy breaks just as much as the next mommy. But I don't tire of their behaviors so easily that I wish for them to be gone for forty or more hours per week, as in, wanting them back in school after only a few hours of the first day of break.

I know some people will read this and still think I am judging. Or they will think that I'm saying my situation is worse. I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is that I think we all - myself included at times - so easily forget how good we really have it.

From around November of last year to around June of this year, I experienced a seemingly insurmountable level of stress and depression. This is actually very common for parents who find out their child has autism. It is a time of an almost-mourning type of behavior as the parent adjusts to the diagnosis of their child, the challenges it presents, and the emotional loss of what may have been for their child. Or, at least, what they - the parents - envisioned as what may have been.

During those months of depression, I was mad at the world. In some ways, I still am. I am mad because my husband and I waited until we felt we were mature enough as adults to have children. We waited until we were financially and emotionally stable. We tried for years to get pregnant, facing three years of infertility. Then we were finally blessed with that little positive sign on the pregnancy test. We prepared for years for everything regarding having children.

Except for autism. We didn't prepare for that.

And I was mad because so many irresponsible people in the world who don't possess even an inkling of foresight or the ability to plan - people who should be poster children for birth control - were out there having kids. And not just having kids - having healthy, typical kids.

Having a child develop autism was like a punch in the face to us.

Anyway, getting off track here but not really because I'm trying to make a point of how we planned and prepared for everything and it all got thrown off-course. It wasn't fair to me and I was mad. I kept doing all the reading I could about autism and treatments and anything written by parents who have gone down this road. Actually, I still do. Right now I'm reading Cowboy & Wills by Monica Holloway.

With all that reading, I began to hear what needed to be said...We are very fortunate for what we have, even given the many challenges we have been given. We should always be thankful for our children and what they bring into our lives.

We love Reiss - autism and all - more than life itself. I can't imagine a life without him. I always wanted to homeschool any children James and I had and I would still love to homeschool. Right now, I don't feel I have what it takes for homeschooling a child with autism. Maybe someday, but as it it right now, it's just another dream fading away. When I think of how much I cherish Reiss and how much I would love to have him home, one can only imagine how I feel when I read of another parent wishing their child away at school and away from them.

I don't know if I've articulated my true feelings here. After all this, I know some people will still walk away thinking I beg for pity for our situation and that I think we have it worse than others. I don't want pity from anyone, and especially not from anyone who refuses to be thankful for what they have been given. I just wish for other children that their parents desired the company of their children as much as the children desire the parents' love and attention. And isn't that really all children are trying for when they carry on and try to drive us over the edge?

Just Watch It!