Are You Smarter Than a Five-Year-Old?

One just never knows the direction in which the spinning wheels are headed in Reiss's head. One thing is certain though, he will come up with numerous inquiries that boggle the mind on a variety of topics every single day. If you want to feel like a big dummy, just come to my house. The invitation is open any day of the year.

Here is a sampling of questions posed to me by Reiss and my responses. These are just from today.

Why don't jets fly in space?
Jets are not equipped to break through the Earth's atmosphere.

Why can't fish walk?
Fish swim in the water with their fins. They don't have feet.

How deep is the sky?
There are different heights in the sky, Reiss. The sky doesn't really start or end anywhere.

How many gallons of water are in the ocean?
I don't know. We could look it up on the internet.

How many teeth does a seal have?
I don't know. We could look it up on the internet.

How deep can ducks swim down in the water?
I don't know. We could look it up on the internet.

Why is this flower yellow?
I don't know. We could look it up on the internet.

Why is z-o-d-d-r-e-g not a word?
I don't know.

How old is God?
I don't know.

What would happen if somebody dropped a truck down and smashed God?
Um......

Okay, see, I don't have a clue. How in the world does a person answer something like that?

Do NOT Google "Wart"

And especially not on Google Images. Just consider yourself warned.

I was getting ready to make dinner and since I have a child-free moment of spare time (something that is next to non-existent in these parts), I thought perhaps it might be a good idea to see if I could find anything in Google Images that looks similar to the annoying, but not disgusting tiny little growth on the big toe of my left foot. Dinner is not sounding so good now. And no, I did not find anything even remotely close to what now seems like a harmless little spot on my toe.

Aside from that moment of near nausea, today has been an awesome day. The only thing that could make it just a little more ideal is if the temperature outside would rise about ten degrees and those pesky clouds would quit hiding the sun. Otherwise, I couldn't be happier, as I have accomplished absolutely nothing today.

This morning I got up and made the mix for the pancake batter for our regular Pancake Saturday tradition. We ate breakfast and then I went back to bed until 11:30. After showering, I went and got some lunch and then we all headed outside, not to return inside for close to three hours. It was pure relaxation.

The house is a pit and the laundry is two days behind. None of the beds are made. The bathroom towel sits unhung on the sink counter and the soap pump is broken (thank you, Milla) and the step stool is in its usual in-the-way place right in front of the sink. In the kitchen, three days worth of stainless steel water bottles await their washing as they sit on countertops that have not been wiped since breakfast this morning. A blood and urine test kit sits atop a pile of papers that need to be sorted. There are papers and books and toys and dolls and trucks and teasets and balls and blocks and every imaginable other type of clutter cluttering up the living room and play room but by golly, this has been nothing less than a fabulous day.

Now if I can get some heat, I'll call it perfect.

Cold and Rainy AGAIN...

By the time May rolls around each year, I should not still be thankful for having heated seats in my SUV but this year, I am. Oh yes, I actually did an internal happy dance when I got in the truck out of the rain at Walgreens today after stopping off for a Redbox movie to keep the kids occupied since goodness knows I am not going out in this weather for them to play.

It's 48 degrees outside and I nearly shed a tear when the heat kicked on in the house this morning. I really don't know how much more cold weather I can handle. I want sun. I want heat. I want to walk around outside without my winter coat on. I need to feel my skin tingling, knowing I am getting a dose of vitamin D for the day.

Recently, I stumbled upon Dwija's House Unseen. Life Unscripted. blog and am strangely drawn to the mundane goings on of her family and their remodeling projects. Maybe it's because it's a mundane different than my own mundane. Or maybe it is because she is thrifty, like me. It could be because she is so funny. Yes, she is really funny - you should trot on over and check out her little piece of the world. I advise reading from the very beginning.

What confounds me the most about Dwija though, is her love for Michigan's change of seasons and what each of them brings. As someone who has lived all but three years and several summers of my nearly forty years in Indiana, I am done - DONE, I tell you - with this cold weather. Believe me, if I could pick up my family and move, I would convince my husband it's for the best. But I can't and we can thank autism in part for that....but I'll save that explanation for another day.

So Dwija, or Dweej, as she signs her posts, seems fascinated by the dramatic change of seasons. She has been in Michigan for around a year. I have to question if she will be singing the same tune several years from now when she and her family have endured year after year after god-awful cold year of living in the tundra, as we do here in Indiana. I'm reading, Dwija, and you can bet I'll stay tuned to find out if you are still loving things in July...you know, when we are all still waiting around for Spring's arrival with heat wave temperatures of maybe 50 degrees.

I know, I'm an optimist. It's what I do. If you want real optimism, go visit Dwija.

Light It Up Blue? No, Thank You!

Tomorrow, April 1st, Autism Speaks will kick off their 2nd annual Light It Up Blue campaign to celebrate World Autism Awareness Day. Thousands, and possibly millions, of individuals and businesses will take part in the campaign to shine the light on autism and awareness of its growing prevalence in children. Participants will get involved in a variety of ways that include wearing blue clothing, changing Facebook profile pics to the "Light It Up Blue" banner, downloading an iPhone app, and many other ways. The most obvious and likely the most popular route to shed a blue light on autism awareness will be by doing just that - displaying blue lights.

Sounds like a really noble cause, right?

Well, before you head out to the local Home Depot (or anywhere else) and plunk down a few bucks for those blue lightbulbs, let's take a look at the organization behind the Light It Up Blue campaign.

The motto for Autism Speaks is "Autism Speaks. It's time to listen." They are correct - at a rate of 1 in 110 (according to the Centers for Disease Control's average - although many research organizations will quote the rate being more frequent than that) children being diagnosed, with boys being four times as likely as girls to be diagnosed, yes, it is indeed time for someone to start listening. But for whom is Autism Speaks speaking? And to who is Autism Speaks listening? Is it those who are affected by autism? Or to those who line their seemingly very deep pockets?

Autism Speaks raises millions and millions of dollars per year - to the tune of around forty-five million dollars in 2009. But where exactly does all that money go?

Charity Navigator is a non-profit organization whose mission is to facilitate intelligent charitable contributions by providing factual, unbiased information on charities based on their financial efficiency. Charitable organizations found on Charity Navigator are evaluated based on the IRS Statistics of Income. In other words, the information found on the Charity Navigator website is based in large part on a charity's IRS reportings.

With that said, one can compare how Autism Speaks rates in comparison to other large, well-known charities. Let's start with location.

Autism Speaks has chosen some prime real estate for their New York City office, but in order to hide the fact that their main office is located on Park Avenue, they apparently rely on those of us outside of New York City to be unfamiliar with which streets intersect others. On their website, Autism Speaks lists their main office address as 1 East 33rd Street. The Charity Navigator website lists the Autism Speaks address as 2 Park Avenue. Someone obviously has their information incorrect here. Or do they? According to Google maps, guess which street intersects at 1 East 33rd Street? Park Avenue! Call it 33rd Street if you want, but that is Park Avenue, baby!

A charitable organization on Park Avenue? Really? Autism Speaks couldn't find a suitable office space in a less expensive location than one that rubs shoulders with the likes of HSBC Bank (one of the world's largest banks with assets close to 200 billion dollars) and credit card giant Chase Bank?

Let's talk revenue versus expenses. As I mentioned earlier, in 2009, Autism Speaks reported revenues of roughly forty-five million dollars. Their expenses were over forty-three million dollars. Those incredibly poor financial statistics earned them an overall rating of one out of a possible four stars by Charity Navigator for their Efficiency Rating.

Even not-for-profit organizations have to pay their employees and executives. We cannot expect people to be so giving to go out and perform a highly stressful job without compensating them, but how does Autism Speaks rate? How much does the average executive working at a non-profit organization make per year?

Since it wouldn't be fair to compare salaries alone due to factors such as an organization's location and cost of living for that location, it is better to compare the differences in relation to what percentage of an organization a particular executive's salary takes up, as does the Charity Navigator website.

To compare the salaries of the two executives listed by Autism Speaks on the Charity Navigator website to other non-profit executives, I picked three charities certainly everyone has heard of: American Red Cross, American Heart Association, and St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Even the salary of American Heart Association's former executive director and CEO who weighed in with the highest salary (again, based on percentage of the organization's expenses) of the three organizations - a salary equal to 0.17% of the organization's yearly expenses - does not come close to the 0.93% of expenses Autism Speaks paid out to Dr. Geri Dawson, Chief Science Officer. American Red Cross paid their execs salaries equal to an average of 0.01% of their expenses and St. Jude Children's Research Hospital's highest paid listed executive made just 0.08% of their overall expenses.

If I could just go off on a tangent here (because it just wouldn't be right for me to bring up the name of someone involved in the science behind autism without mentioning vaccines), Dr. Dawson seems a bit confused, herself, on the vaccine stance that Autism Speaks has notably taken over the years. Autism Speaks has held strongly to the belief that vaccines and autism cannot possibly have any link to one another, yet, Dr. Dawson contradicts herself in an interview conducted with her in 2009.

A few snippets from the interview: She stated, "It remains scientifically plausible that the challenge to the immune system resulting from a vaccine (or other immunological challenges) could, in susceptible individuals, have adverse consequences for the developing brain."

She goes on further to say, "Evidence does not support the theory that vaccines are causing an autism epidemic. However, it is plausible that specific genetic or medical factors that are present in a small minority of individuals might lead to an adverse response to a vaccine and trigger the onset of autism symptoms."

I'm sorry, but isn't admitting that individuals who experience an adverse response to a vaccine that triggers the onset of autism symptoms very similar to saying that, had those individuals not received vaccines, they would not have had the adverse response that ultimately triggered the autism symptoms?

So where else does all that money go that Autism Speaks raises every year? It does not go to individuals or families affected by autism and they have no problem admitting to that fact. In their own words, Autism Speaks states "Autism Speaks does not award grants to individuals or fund an individual or family for participation in personal programs."

So again, I ask, to whom is Autism Speaks listening? It sure isn't my family. If they were listening to me, they would practice some common sense frugality by moving their offices to somewhere with less notoriety than an address that probably 90% of the world's population has heard of. If they were listening to me, they would pay their executives less money and get someone in there who can work out a better ratio of revenue to expenses. But most importantly, if they were listening to me, they would put families first. If one of their main objectives is to bring awareness to autism, why not expand that awareness to the devastating financial effects autism has on families and assist them in a more direct financial way?

As far as Autism Speaks speaking, they certainly do not speak for my family either as they have done nothing for my son. Sure, they bring awareness to autism but at a very obviously high pricetag. And who needs awareness at a price? My family is very aware of autism on a daily basis....for FREE!

Muffin Tops and Baby Bumps

Everyone I was waiting to tell our news to knows now, so I can stop hiding my secret and blab about it on here. Here it is: I will soon develop a baby bump.

I would post a photo but, at this point, it would be difficult to distinguish the difference between my waistline muffin top and the baby bump. Or rather, what will become a baby bump soon enough. Right now, there is a baby in there somewhere beneath a few layers of belly fat.

Late September, possibly early October, will mark the end of our equally gender-divided family. Well, unless I have fraternal twins made up of a boy and a girl.

So what do you get when you cross seafood, Bloody Marys, and fresh fruit? You have my ultimate cravings with this pregnancy, which frustrate me to no end. I refuse to eat fish of any kind because of the possible mercury content. Alcohol is obviously not a wise choice for drinking at this time. And although I can eat fresh fruit to my heart's content, it makes me feel like I have to spend extended periods of time reading magazines in the bathroom, if you catch my drift (Ha! No pun intended, of course!).

Rules of the Tent

Yesterday, Reiss and his new therapists built a monster-sized tent fort in his room constructed from blankets, beanbag chairs, and aluminum-framed kids papasan chairs. Reiss loved it so much, he asked if he could keep it up and sleep in there last night. And that is exactly what he did.

Of course no fort would be complete without rules so Reiss and his cohorts drew up a list. These make me laugh out loud:

1. No stepping on the roof.

2. No licking the wand. (Referring to the princess wands Milla brought to the project.)

3. No sitting on beanbags.

4. No running.

5. No stepping on the chair.

6. No knocking down the (Lego) tower.

7. No taking the blankets off.

8. No pushing the chair.

9. Do not tell anyone the password (which was "blah blah." Oops...I told the password.). Only friends.

10. No banging the wand on the floor.

Those ten rules completed the list yesterday but after playing in the tent for a little while this morning, Reiss and Milla felt they needed to added an eleventh rule.

11. No tearing down the chimney in the tent.

This last one may prove itself to be a difficult rule to follow, especially considering I have no idea where the chimney is located inside the tent.

Because We Are Wild Like That....

Friday night was date night for James and me. We started the evening off by dropping the kids into some very trustworthy hands and were pleasantly surprised when Milla happily waved good-bye to us and ran off to play with Reiss. Seeing this was quite a change from the norm, as our date nights typically begin with a sobbing mess - Milla, not James or me.

For the most part, our date night plans generally consist of no actual plan at all. There is rarely any forethought put into what we will do for the evening and James and I are very much creatures of habit. So it was no surprise when, as soon as we had gotten into the car and shut the doors, James declared, "I don't know. You decide." As in, we both knew part of the evening's activities would consist of going to eat dinner somewhere but he did not want to be the one to decide specifically where we would end up.

Our first stop was a relatively new non-franchise type pizza place near our home whose specialty is gourmet pizzas. Although still right in the middle of things, the location is rather off the beaten path. Past restaurant businesses that have resided in the same building never tended to stay in business very long and I do not know whether it was the location or the food itself that played a more impacting role in their demise. I have a feeling I know which was the case for one particular restaurant that was housed there a few years ago. Suffice it to say that we only ate there one time.

At any rate, given the history of restaurants housed there in the past, we thought we would be able to get in and get seated immediately. Wrong. Well, not necessarily wrong. We may have been able to get in and seated immediately but we didn't even get to find out, as the parking lot was so packed there wasn't a single space to be found.

On to the next place. And again, as creatures of habit, driving around, wasting gas, and being indecisive as to where we shall eat is usually part of date night for us.

Next stop was a Chinese restaurant we ate at several years ago and thought the food was disgusting. Over the years though, we have continued hearing how great this place is whenever conversations with friends wander to the subject of local restaurants. We have been reluctant to give the place another try but figured we might as well.

James ordered Szechuan Chicken and I had their Curry Chicken. Before our food arrived, James thought sure the portions would be too small and we would leave the place with only half-full bellies and empty pockets. I reassured him that he would certainly not starve by reminding him that Dunkin' Donuts is just across the street.

Our server brought our food to us and even James mentioned that we probably could have shared an entree. This, coming from someone who doesn't bat an eye at eating an entire pizza if given the chance. Both meals were slightly spicy but still only on that level of spiciness that makes one aware that the spice is there, yet does not create a feeling of inferno mouth. We enjoyed what we could eat of our meals and left soon afterwards with our pockets only $24 (including tip) poorer. Not bad for a great sit-down meal.

Although quite full from the Chinese food, it just wouldn't have been right to drive past Dunkin' Donuts so we stopped and got a donut. Okay, it was actually six donuts. But we didn't eat them all right then.

As date nights tend to go for us, after catching a bite to eat we usually run some errands or browse a bookstore. Our first errand was to Goodwill to look for dinosaurs for Reiss - because we get wild like that on date nights.

Reiss is on a dinosaur kick right now and buying him a few brand new plastic dinosaurs seems absolutely ridiculous when the retail stores want eight bucks for a four-inch piece of plastic imported straight from China and probably containing who knows how much lead paint. So the search was on for less expensive plastic dinosaurs imported straight from China.

Judging from prices of plastic dinos being sold on Ebay and the availability (or lack thereof) of them at Goodwill, I have come to think these things must be a pretty hot commodity. We did not find a single plastic dinosaur like what we were looking for but, for $2.99, we did purchase a battery-operated T-Rex that roars and moves its head around while its eyes light up. Apparently, the person who donated it to Goodwill is not as frugal as I am when making donations because we were lucky enough to not have to put batteries in Mr. T-Rex in order for him to work properly. Milla's consolation gift was a $.99 plastic horse.

At another Goodwill store closer to where we needed to pick up the kids, we also found an Elefun game for $3.99 and a pair of jeans for Reiss. He has a closet full of excellent quality Gymboree clothes, including several pairs of jeans, but for some reason prefers worn out, on their last leg, jeans from Goodwill.

After the second Goodwill visit, it was pouring down rain and getting close to the time when we needed to go pick up Reiss and Milla so that is what we did. We went to get the kids and another crazy date night was done for us. The kids loved the toys and we played Elefun several times on Saturday. I am still in awe of the imagination of someone who would invent a game where an elephant shoots butterflies out of its trunk.

Freedom!!!

I've got a feelin'...
That tomorrow's gonna be a good, good da-a-ay......woohooo!
(Anyone else out there a Peas fan too?)

Remember a few weeks back when I mentioned a BIG change we had coming our way?

Originally, I had not planned to spill the beans until this coming weekend but due to an unexpected turn of events, I have the freedom to go ahead and reveal the big surprise. Do not get too worked up - it is really only a big change for my family and not something others will find much excitement in knowing.

Are you ready?

(Drumroll...)

We are changing providers for Reiss's in-home ABA (applied behavior analysis) therapy program!

See, I warned you. Not terribly exciting, right? However, considering the intensity and numerous hours of ABA therapy Reiss puts in on a weekly basis, it is a big change for our family and one we are certainly looking forward to making.

The decision to change providers was not an easy one to make. Actually, the decision to change providers began not at all as a quest to find another provider but rather, as a mission to simply research other options in our area for in-home ABA and ABA centers should we decide to make a change in the future. After a series of events occurred and subsequent tension began to build between ourselves and our current provider, we felt it was best to really dig in and do our homework regarding looking into the other options we found available to us. There was the unfortunate tension building, but at that point, our efforts were still only meant to provide us with options in the event of a "what if" situation were to happen.

A funny thing happened along the way though, and once we began looking into several other options, including one center and three in-home providers, we became quite impressed with one particular provider who services our area. The more we talked with her, the more confident we felt that she was was a great option to go with now and not just to use later as a "just in case" option. It felt right and it felt like a change now was in our best interest after all. She was very open and honest with everything we asked of her. She made no qualms about meeting with me on two occasions. She did not skip a beat when asked to provide references of other families with whom she works. I, personally, checked each of her references not once or twice, but four separate times, calling them back whenever we thought of something else we would like to ask.

Tomorrow morning I will meet with our new provider and the two therapists she has hired to work with Reiss. I stress the number because our current provider has four therapists working with Reiss. At one time, we had six therapists working with him for a total of only thirty-five hours per week. At our best, we had three therapists. The unusually high number of therapists has always presented me with a level of frustration, as I knew from speaking with other parents whose children receive ABA through other providers that they typically had two therapists, and a maximum of three therapists for a full forty-hour week of therapy. If your own child receives ABA or has in the past, I would love your input as to the number of therapists you have/had and whether or not you feel more is better or less is best.

Next Monday, Reiss will meet his new therapists and begin therapy and a whole new fresh start. I am so excited for him and I am excited for my family, as it feels like we are about to embark on a totally new journey. I feel free and like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

It is almost as though the dreary and cloudy bitterness of winter has dissipated and the sun is shining and Spring has arrived. Well, until I remember that it will probably be around 30 degrees when I wake up tomorrow morning. But I'm on this high, so who cares if there is frost on the windows and the furnace continues to run non-stop for the next few weeks?

And now it's official. My high has caused me to babble meaninglessly about frosty windows and other nonsense. So I will leave with that.

To be continued...

A Reminder of the Prevalence of Autism

Today was the best, if not the strangest, afternoon I can remember having in quite awhile. It was a great day but with the number of other autism moms I saw today (amongst only a few moms total), it also served as a reminder of the prevalence of autism.

First, we started off by going to the dentist. Both kids behaved fairly well. That is, if you don't count the timeout Reiss got for banging on the side of the aquarium in the dentist's waiting room. It was not very hard but certainly hard enough to scare the bejeezus out of any fish unfortunate enough to call the tank their home.

In the waiting room, it was nice to recognize and talk with another autism mom whose children used to go to the same physical therapy office where my children went. Her boys' appointments coincided with my kids' appointments and we used to chat each week. Our insurance allotment of appointments ran out mid-year last year and I kinda lost touch with the mom, other than the occasional passing of one another on Facebook.

Our visit to the dentist's office reminded me once again of my spectacular memory, or rather, the lack of it. The dentist found a somewhat large cavity in one of Milla's teeth but it was nothing new to me. He told me about it on the last visit but I forgot to make an appointment to have it fixed. It was only after the dentist examined Milla on this appointment that I remembered that she had a small cavity. That small cavity is no longer small.

When Milla was finished with her exam and had picked out her Princess and the Frog toothbrush, her ABA therapist took her to her social skills group. Cavity-free Reiss and I then left and headed to the Y.

At the Y, I hadn't even taken my coat off when I saw there was another autism mom I know. This one I knew from her son and Reiss being in the same developmental preschool. We started talking, or maybe venting is a better word for it. We both feel lost about where to send our children for kindergarten next year. Another mom heard us talking and came over and joined in our conversation.

Thank goodness for eavesdroppers, especially when they are other autsim moms!

I felt especially fortunate for this other mom listening to our conversation because when she joined us, I learned that she is not only in my school district but, with a son who is ten years old, is also experienced in dealing with my school district's ways - two traits that I have found particularly difficult to find simultaneously occurring with other autism parents I meet. We hit it off immediately and an added bonus is that she has a daughter Milla's age. We exchanged phone numbers and I am excited at the prospect of having a new playmate for Milla.

As if all that excitement was not enough for one afternoon, another mom I have seen at the Y on occasion came over and spoke to us. She has two nephews with autism. We talked for awhile and she offered that her nephews recently went gluten-free and have shown amazing improvements.

While all this was going on Reiss played and played and played for nearly two hours straight with minimal intervention on my part. He played so wonderfully that I doubt anyone realized Reiss is just a little different than other children. Had it not been for seeing so many other autism moms, I may have even felt like any other parent just having an afternoon out at the Y. I think, just maybe, I may have even relaxed a little bit....

What a Fabulous Friday!

Dr. Robert Sears a.k.a Dr. Bob (left), yours truly (center), and James (right)

Fridays do not get better than this! James and I spent an evening listening to Dr. Bob Sears speak on autism and treating its effects with a biomedical approach. As part of his book tour for The Autism Book, Dr. Bob spoke at the Indiana University School of Law. We were fortunate enough to get to go and listen to his expertise on everything autism.

Over the years, I have been in the presence of celebrities on a few occasions but none of them ever had the same effect on me as Dr. Bob did this evening. Regarding other celebrities, I always just figured "Well, they're people just like me." But with Dr. Bob, I was downright giddy and was not shy about having a photo taken of him with James and me.

It was such a fabulous evening! Definitely one I will never forget....

Miss the Bliss

Yesterday evening I went to my local TACA chapter's Coffee Talk meeting. Coffee Talk is, essentially, mommy therapy for autism moms, although an occasional dad shows up. It is a less formal, unstructured version of our regular TACA meetings; a time for talking about anything autism-related and everything else under the sun.

There were only four of us, including myself and three other moms. Somehow along the way we got on the topic of how autism affects every aspect of the lives of a family who has a member with autism.

I remember not long after my son was diagnosed, my father had become increasingly aggravated with me and told me it was because we (my family) had become so involved with autism that our entire lives revolved around it - as if we could just choose to separate ourselves from autism but instead made a conscious choice not to do so. Wouldn't it be great if it really was that simple?

Having only been into this journey for a short time when my father told me that, I did not know that my response should have been, "Yes, you are exactly right! Our lives do revolve around autism because autism has made itself a part of every single aspect of our lives."

No matter how much I would love to separate autism from our lives, it is there. It is always present and always finds a way to creep itself into every little detail of our lives.

Parents of typical children wake their children in the morning. In my house, my husband and I may be awakened at any hour of the night by our children who do not sleep well. Children with autism generally have an imbalance of seratonin and lack the ability to produce sufficient levels of melatonin - two hormones that, when out of balance, make for very poor sleep.

Parents of typical children give their children breakfast. My husband and I give our children a gluten-free, casein-free (GFCF) breakfast and more vitamin and mineral supplements than most professional athletes take. My children are full of metals and have gastrointestinal problems that cause them to have low levels of essential nutrients in their body or the ability to process foods properly in order to acquire those nutrients. The GFCF foods they eat help to heal their gastro issues and the supplements provide the nutrients they need where their bodies fail to obtain them through food.

Parents of typical children send their children off to school and bid them a nice day. My child goes to a private school with a full-time aide provided by our insurance because our public school system refused to give him an aide or allow our aide in school with him. They also refused to put necessary safety measures in place to ensure my child's safety without an aide.

Parents of typical children set up playdates for their children. My children attend a social group where they are integrated with neurotypical peers. Finding a playdate for a child with autism involves a monumental search equivalent to finding an ice cube in the desert. No, that's not right. Finding a playdate for a child with autism is not that difficult. The difficulty is in finding a lasting playmate for a child with autism.

Parents of typical children put their children in sports and activities like soccer and dance. My children take swimming lessons specifically for children with special needs so that they can receive one-on-one instruction.

Parents of typical children think nothing of sending cupcakes or cookies to school with their child for his or her birthday. When this happens, if I don't know in advance, my child is left out because he cannot eat the birthday goodies. How's that for "inclusion?" I did not choose to have my child on a special diet - his physical needs made that choice for us.

Parents of typical children think nothing of packing the kids in the car and taking off for a round of errands. For my husband and me, there is no such thing as a "round" of errands. If we can make it to two places with minimal problems and tantrums, we feel lucky.

Parents of typical children hire a babysitter for an evening and have a lovely evening out on the town for date night. My husband and I pay twice the amount for a babysitter as what typical parents pay and then we go out for a few hours with the hope that our son's next seizure will not occur on our caregiver's watch.

Parents of typical children take their children to the park or the library or a family outing and then relax or read a book or mingle with relatives while their children play. I have never been able to relax at a park for fear of my child bolting from the scene (children with autism are notorious escape artists) or injuring himself on the playground equipment because of his poor muscle tone caused by his autism and its internal workings or because he is having a tantrum for one reason or another. I have never read a book while my children play at the library, again, for fear that my child may bolt from the scene. I have mingled with relatives at family outings but only because my husband was overseeing the care of our children at the time.

This is what I mean by missing the bliss that other parents are fortunate enough to have. Actually, I do not miss it, as that would imply that I had it at one time. I have never had that peaceful bliss of just letting my children exist and play and live carefree lives. That bliss was ripped away from me just the same as a small piece of hope for my children to lead independent adult lives was ripped from them when they developed autism.

I have no point here, really. At this point, I am so over autism and while both of my children have made great strides towards blending better with their peers, autism still makes its presence very well-known on a daily basis. I grieve the loss of that carefree life I see so many parents around me living every single day.

Definition of an Opportunist:

A parent who decides that the best time to trim her child's fingernails is during the moments after the child has had a seizure, when he has fallen into the inevitable deep slumber that follows such a fatiguing neurological episode.

Just turning lemons into lemonade here...

Where Have I Been?

That title reminds me of the Dr. Seuss book, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Well, where have I been? That's a good question! I have been a bad mommy blogger and have all but totally neglected this little piece of my world for around two months now.

Just like a lot of other folks, one of my excuses for absenteeism is the busy-ness of the holidays. My other excuse? Stress.

During the month of December, Reiss had three seizures and a fourth episode that can only be described as what looked like a seizure trying to happen. I say "trying" because Reiss is on anti-seizure medication and the symptoms he displayed during that particular episode appeared the same as his symptoms at the beginning of any other seizure (look of extreme fatigue, unresponsiveness, but still conscious) but he did not progress any further to some of the more extreme symptoms such as his eyes being fixed to one side or convulsing. Instead, he got a little bit spacey, told me he wanted to lie down and then, he simply fell asleep...for nearly six hours straight! And that was right after he had gotten up for the morning and eaten breakfast.

That was not all. We also had the return of Reiss's persistently bloody nose. We think we have that one figured out though. We added a zinc supplement back into his regimen, which he had been lacking for a few weeks because we had run out and we were not sure how much of a difference it was making. Once that was added back in, the incidents of Reiss having a bloody nose on a daily basis disappeared immediately and he has not had one since then.

So that was our December. As if December, with its holidays and preparations and special events, does not already present itself with enough stresses and frustrations without the addition of daily bloody noses and the riddling of seizures here and there.

On a happier front, we did have our share of holiday good times...

Above is a photo of Reiss and Milla decorating Christmas cookies (GFCF, of course!) at the house of our good friends, Matt and Staci. Staci is a registered dietician and is very familiar with the restrictions of the diet we follow in our house. They invited us over for cookie decorating and Staci so generously accommodated our needs by making cookies Reiss and Milla can eat.


It would not have been Christmas had we not gone out on a few occasions to check out decorations in several different neighborhoods. I read about the decorations of the house above in an Indy Star newspaper article featuring the best light displays around town. Granted, it's not really very Christmas-y in nature, but living in Indianapolis and being Colts fans, it was indeed cool to see.


On December 21st, Reiss achieved quite an accomplishment for any five-year-old. One of his ABA therapists made him the award pictured above. It has been hanging on the wall since that day and Reiss has counted to 1000 many times since then as well.


This is the only photo we have of both children on Christmas day because, not long after this was taken, Reiss had a seizure. No, the poor little guy could not catch a break even on Christmas Day.


I think this photo (taken the day after Christmas at my dad's house) of Milla looking at me makes her look so sweet. Please don't look at my big, pointy nose or double chin.


Milla was quite the little helper with Reiss's gift. As a matter of fact, she was so helpful that day that she opened most of my gifts while at my dad's house and I had no idea of what I received until we got home and got everything unloaded and unpacked. I still have no clue who gave me which gift.

That just about covers our holiday season. Yes, I am quite late to the punch, I know.

January has been snow and appointments and school cancellations and exercising and weight loss and oh yeah, did I mention that I have lost nine pounds since the beginning of the year?

I do not mean to brag but I have remained extremely dedicated and focused on losing this weight...again. At least I did not let it get really out of hand before tightening the reigns again. In the past I have been - how shall I say this? More tolerant of my own weight gain before getting it back under control. I was fat. There, I said it. In the past, I have let myself get to what doctors categorize as being obese. Personally, the image of obesity that comes to mind for me is someone who is so morbidly overweight that s/he can barely walk. But for the record, "obese" in medical terms generally means a BMI of more than 30 and/or being more than 20% overweight. This time around, I met neither of those requirements, thank goodness.

Weight loss is not the only change that is coming in our household. We have another BIG change coming soon. BUT I cannot tell about it on here just yet. It is a secret. Stay tuned...

B.R.A.T: It Is Not What You Think

Several weeks ago, I was giddy with excitement after having just received a goody box full of B.R.A.T. Organic Feel Better Drinks for my kids to take for a test drive. When I spoke with the owner of the company, who also happens to be a Facebook friend of mine, we agreed upon a review on my part in exchange for a free sample on her part. I had no idea her version of a "sample" would include all four flavors of the B.R.A.T. product.

Seriously, during my blogging days, I have agreed to plug for quite a number of companies whose interpretation of the words "sample our products" ended up being a single-sized serving or less of only one variety of their product amongst a line filled with many varieties. I am not one to complain when something is given to me for free, but when I agree to a review, I am not really getting the product for free, now am I? So when I agree to take the time to try a company's product and write about it, I expect a bit more than what the lady at the grocery store hands out on Sunday afternoons. How many companies are generous enough to send their entire product line?

If you are not familiar with the B.R.A.T. drinks or the more commonly known "BRAT diet" prescribed by doctors far and wide for upset stomach, then you may be wondering why anyone would give their child a product called B.R.A.T. or subscribe to the philosophy of a diet that seemingly might turn a little tyke into an obnoxious, out-of-control, spoiled...brat. Furthermore, if you are not familiar with the BRAT diet, it is likely you have never been sick since this go-to remedy is the catch-all advice from doctor to patient. For the rest of us, we know when our doctors prescribe such a diet that he or she is recommending bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast.

But let's say you or your little one is not feeling 100% and eating is out of the question for whatever reason. I had not planned on being graphic, but let's just say all the plumbing is getting a fierce workout, where do you turn for nutritional replenishment? The human body still needs incoming nutrients and electrolytes and unless your definition of good nutrition includes consuming artificial flavors, dyes, sweeteners, and preservatives, it is best to skip the Pedialyte.

Enter B.R.A.T. drinks - the Bananas, Rice, and Applesauce Tummy Soother

Nope, no toast in these drinks!

B.R.A.T. drinks:

• Come in four flavors: Original (kinda fruity), Vanilla, Cinnamon Toast, and Chocolate Honey.
  
• Are USDA Organic! Who doesn't love that??
• Have vitamins and calcium.
• Are free of the eight most common allergens, which is especially important to many people in the autism community and those people, in general, who have severe allergies.
• Taste great! And after all, a product can have all the nutrients in the world but if a parent cannot get it into their child's body, it is worthless - Right??

My family loved the B.R.A.T. drinks. My kids' favorite flavors were the Cinnamon Toast and Chocolate Honey. It is, however, difficult to say which they liked more, as their only responses during our taste tests were "Yummy!" and "More, please!" The Vanilla and Original flavors were well-liked too, but kids just go for chocolate. Or, at least, mine do.

B.R.A.T. drinks can be found at several supermarket chains nationwide. If you cannot find this product locally, I recommend speaking to the manager of your favorite health food store or wherever you shop frequently. If they are not willing to stock B.R.A.T. for you (find somewhere else to shop!), B.R.A.T. drinks can also be purchased on Amazon.

To your health! And that of your brat child - stay healthy with B.R.A.T.!

Just Some Random Recent Pics

Reiss and Milla having fun with the child-size basketball goal at my dad's house on Thanksgiving...

Just plain silliness...

Milla helping me clip coupons one Sunday afternoon...

A meatball recipe I worked hard to develop and now cannot find where I put the recipe. They will probably never be made the same way again. And they were really yummy too...

Pigging Out to "Princess Loser"

This evening at dinner in the sweetest imaginable voice ever, Milla told me, "Mommy, I want to watch "Princess Loser" with you tonight."

It is presumably obvious to most that what she really meant was she wanted to watch Biggest Loser with me. I can only imagine as to how she came to this association but my guess is somewhere along the way in her three-year-old mind she married her princess obsession and her love of Mommy & Me couch time and gave birth to "Princess Loser," which is almost certainly nothing like what it sounds.

All of it was, undoubtedly, too cute for words.

At 8:00, we sat down and tuned in and, as is always the case when I watch Biggest Loser, the junk food cravings began.

There was a time when I actually believed most of America sat perfectly postured, watching Biggest Loser, with a bottle of water and on the edge of their couches, listening intently to Bob and Jillian advise and verbally assault the show's contestants. And then, very slowly, I began a process of waking up as I watched my friends' Facebook posts.

I began to see that my husband and I are not only not the exception with our open potato chip bags and homemade muffins and assorted other goodies that grace our Tuesday evening Biggest Loser tv-watching sessions, but rather, we are the rule. And that is ironic. With children with autism and the never-ending unpredictability we face, we are almost never "the rule." Usually, we set a precedent for being the exception to the rule.

This evening's Biggest Loser buffet consisted of buffalo chicken snack rolls, mint Oreo's, and mint M&M's. Good stuff. I am sure Bob and Jillian would be disgusted beyond belief.

Anyone who knows me, knows how I love a good case of irony.

My family's life is full of irony on a daily basis. Sometimes the irony is good. Sometimes it is the kind of bad that angers me to no end. With all the irony constantly going on, I also crave normalcy like nothing else. How funny is it that I finally get to feel just a teensy bit "normal" because I sit, pigging out, on Tuesday evenings right along with millions of other Americans while we all watch a show about extreme weight loss?

That is irony. The good kind.

Who Has Time for Boredom?

Really, I cannot even begin to comprehend how anyone can ever be bored. Yet, almost daily, this friend or that one on Facebook will post a status update either straightforwardly declaring such boredom or implying such with the indecisiveness of which activity to take on at any particular moment. I guess that is only one difference between myself and some of my Facebook friends: Some people use Facebook as a form of escape from boredom. I use it as a form of escape from my endless to-do list.

Right now, I am using my blog to escape my to-do list. And since I have little to write about, I will bore others with the details of my to-do list.

On my to-do list for this week, I need to.....

Tie up any loose ends for people on my family's Christmas gift list. It used to be for a long time that I was really great about having all our gifts purchased before Thanksgiving. That was B.C. (Before Children) This year has been a year of change though, and I am vowing to have that shopping done before Thanksgiving again. Unless absolutely necessary, I detest setting foot in stores between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Get all our goodies together for Thanksgiving, Rounds 2 & 3. Round 1 came yesterday evening when we had James' mother over for dinner. It was supposed to be Thanksgiving but we had roast. I thought I was receiving a fresh organic turkey from our produce delivery service this past Friday. I was going to receive it on Friday, prep it that evening, and then roast it all day on Saturday. Much to my surprise, our turkey arrived Friday afternoon rock solid. It is now resting in the garage refrigerator and - by my estimations and according to Google - will be just about ready for roasting on......Wednesday. Round 2 of Thanksgiving will be Wednesday and Round 3 will be on, you guessed it, Thanksgiving.

Clean out my SUV. Who am I kidding? This has been on my to-do list for months. I did go get the oil changed on Wednesday. That's progress, right? Even if I did only do so for the few moments of peace and the Starbucks self-serve machine at the dealership...

Tackle the paper monster that grows and shrinks and grows and shrinks on my desk. On a positive note, it does indeed have a home on the desk now, rather than the kitchen counter where, until recently, it resided for several months.

Call the phone company to disconnect all the added features on our home phone. Now that I have finally ditched my dinophone and entered the new millenium with my iPhone, who needs all the extras on a home phone? I know we don't. Anyone who really needs to get in touch with us has my cell phone number.

Clean out some of these toys around here. Some will go to the second-hand store. Others will go straight to Goodwill. I would really love to just give them to someone whose children could use them instead of take them to Goodwill where they will invariably be marked with prices that are way too high. Alas, I know no one who wants to take a bunch of this-n-that toys off our hands and finding a family with a true need would only add to my to-do list. Does that make me horrible for admitting I plan on taking the easy way out by making a drop at Goodwill?

Look into a research program I read about that provides children with autism an opportunity for socialization. Reiss is part of a social group already but this program is one that would provide him with socialization amongst children he has never met.

Enough of my to-do list. Just thinking about it and writing it all down wears me out.

If you are still reading, surely you are bored. Go on, now - head on over to Facebook and let all your friends know how bored you are.

Today Was EGG YACK Day

Do you ever start planning out your day and then realize there is no way you are going to remember everything you need to do, much less actually do it all? That describes me to a T (or is it tee?), so I am all about lists.

I have my calendar and I write lists of things on each of the days. I have my iPhone and I make lists on my list app. I have a small spiral notebook on the kitchen counter in which I write things that need to be done as I think of them. I have my grocery list. And then there is the health food store list, for things I cannot get at the regular grocery. Perhaps I should consider making a list of all my lists.

This morning, while walking on the treadmill, thoughts of "I need to ____ today" kept popping into my head. As I kept adding things, one by one, I just knew many of them would escape my memory before I even set foot back onto the carpet and could make my way to a piece of paper to actually write them all down. At that point, I began to make a word from the first letters of the keywords of the things I needed to do. There is a name for this practice, but alas, the name for it escapes me. Imagine that.

What I finally ended up with was that today was EGG YACK day. I can't make this stuff up - it really was EGG YACK day because here is what made up my to-do list for the day:

E - Call my gynie, whose last name begins with "E."
G - Place our Green Bean Delivery order for next week's delivery. This is our organic produce home-delivery service.
G - Take some items out to the garbage that I had forgotten to put in the cans before James took them out this morning.

Y - Call the YMCA regarding one of the programs we are interested in signing up Reiss for very soon.
A - Call Amy, who is the assistant to the woman who is in charge of our ABA programs.
C - Email my friend, Chris, about a toy I told her weeks ago she could have and that I have yet to give to her.
K - Check the Flylady website to see what today's Kelly's Mission was so that I could do it, you know, in all my spare time. To my pleasant surprise, I had miraculously already done today's mission just before getting on the treadmill. Yay me! I didn't let myself off the hook that easily though, and decided to see what yesterday's mission was, as I had not done so yesterday.

So there you have it. Today was EGG YACK day and eleven hours later, I still need to do K. Technically, just yesterday's K.

Feel the Love!

Halloween Haircuts

Not sure why I never got Milla some bangs much sooner than I did...

Yes, that's right, my son can touch his nose with his tongue...and he does it quite often - too often.