After a rather early awakening this morning by a certain two-year-old, I found myself tossing and turning, trying unsuccessfully to go back to sleep. So, as I almost always do when battling insomnia, I got up and went to the computer.
As the new school year approaches, just thinking of Reiss attending public school gives me heart palpitations. School starts in four days and we are not even certain whether or not he will be going on to kindergarten within our school system. Yes, with there only being a matter of four days that separate us from now until the beginning of school, we should know if our child is going to start school and yes, most people - including other parents of children with autism - do know whether or not their child is going to go to school. However, we are not "most" people and "most" people do not have to deal with case conferences, IEP's, therapists, and assorted other things that make up the story behind why we do not know if our child will be attending kindergarten within the public school system. But that story is one for another time, not now.
Back to my heart palpitations and the anxiety causing them...
In the past few weeks, merely the thought of sending Reiss to public school darn near gives me a full-on anxiety attack. My mind races with news stories of children with autism being abused by teachers, disappearing from school, and of one autistic boy who even drowned in a school's pool. I think about how no one knows a child with autism like his own parents. I think about how I have tried to explain to one of my own relatives that my child does not comprehend danger and is often a "runner." I also recall the response received and it was not one that provided me reassurance of a total understanding of the problem. If I cannot get someone who is related to my child to "get" it, how on earth am I going to stress the importance of safety to a teacher - someone who is merely being paid to educate my child, not make sure for instance, that he comes back from the bathroom or eats only the food sent to school with him or does not have a meltdown because his pants got water on them or...or...or...?
It is all the "ors" that have brought homeschooling back to the forefront of my thoughts, so with not being able to sleep this morning, I began digging around (again) online for homeschool resources and specifically, for people who have children with autism who they homeschool. In doing so, I stumbled across Free Printable Fun, a fun little blog written by Jamie Sue, a crafty mom to a five-year-old boy with autism.
Jamie Sue does not post very often and from what I have read so far, I do not get the impression that she homeschools (but I could be wrong!) or that she uses the projects she posts as homeschool materials. Again, finding her site was simply a stumble for me that appeared when I Googled "homeschool autism resources." However, the content of her posts are valuable and the projects seem fun, even if they are not meant to be part of a structured homeschool curriculum - although some of them could be used in conjunction with other materials for that very purpose.
Showing posts with label homeschool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homeschool. Show all posts
Monday, August 9, 2010
Monday, December 21, 2009
The No Nonsense Zone
I will be the first to admit that sometimes my mouth gets me in trouble. Sometimes I say things that just don't need to be said and other times I say things that probably don't need to be said but, at the same time, some people need to hear. My no nonsense approach may have been handed down to me from my mother. Maybe it was acquired when I was in the military. Or perhaps it may just be a side-effect of my own concrete way of thinking. I don't know how I got to be this way but this is me and this is a No Nonsense Zone.
Just this evening was a good example of one of those times when I opened my mouth and said something I think some of the people needed to hear. Unfortunately, I don't think what I was really trying to say is what was heard by those who really needed to hear it.
Off and on today whenever I was on my computer and scrolling through my "live feed" on facebook, one message kept appearing. Several of my facebook friends said it. They all used a different way to say it, but it was the same message all the same: I want Christmas Break - or to be more politically correct, Holiday Break - to be over and I want my kids back in school.
I shot back with a comment of my own on my profile stating:
"(My full name).....thinks it's interesting how people will brag on how cool their kids are during regular school scheduling (when they are away all day) and then, a break comes along and every other comment on my fb feed is how they want their kids to go back to school. Let the flinging begin! If I can handle one w/autism & another w/dev... delays, I think I can handle the backlash this one might cause."
Depending on where you live in the country if you are in the United States, it's likely that today, December 21st, is the first day of a two-week (or more for some) break from school. When I see people complaining about wanting their kids gone and back in school on the very first day of a holiday break, I can't help but wonder what is so bad that they are looking forward to having their kids gone after such a short period of time. Worse yet, I wonder how their children feel. Seriously, that kind of attitude must radiate outwardly - and not only in the form of a facebook update for all to see.
Some people may think I'm judging and maybe I am. I don't think so. When a person comes right out and says that they want their child back in school, after only having them around for a little while...well, honestly, I think it is really sad and it pains me to wonder what kind of parental image the child involved has of their parents.
My husband and I deal with a lot of stress and a lot of challenges on a daily basis facing what we do with one child with autism and one with developmental delays. And yes, there are days when I need a break and the only break I am afforded is the three hours that Reiss is in preschool. So I'm not saying I never want a break and that I have to have my kids around me all the time (For the record though, while Reiss is at preschool I still have Milla so it's not much of a break.). Really, I am normal. I want a break now and then just as much as anyone.
That said, even as stressful as things get to be sometimes around here and as exhausted and rundown as I get, I still don't wish for my kids to be gone. I look forward to getting mommy breaks just as much as the next mommy. But I don't tire of their behaviors so easily that I wish for them to be gone for forty or more hours per week, as in, wanting them back in school after only a few hours of the first day of break.
I know some people will read this and still think I am judging. Or they will think that I'm saying my situation is worse. I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is that I think we all - myself included at times - so easily forget how good we really have it.
From around November of last year to around June of this year, I experienced a seemingly insurmountable level of stress and depression. This is actually very common for parents who find out their child has autism. It is a time of an almost-mourning type of behavior as the parent adjusts to the diagnosis of their child, the challenges it presents, and the emotional loss of what may have been for their child. Or, at least, what they - the parents - envisioned as what may have been.
During those months of depression, I was mad at the world. In some ways, I still am. I am mad because my husband and I waited until we felt we were mature enough as adults to have children. We waited until we were financially and emotionally stable. We tried for years to get pregnant, facing three years of infertility. Then we were finally blessed with that little positive sign on the pregnancy test. We prepared for years for everything regarding having children.
Except for autism. We didn't prepare for that.
And I was mad because so many irresponsible people in the world who don't possess even an inkling of foresight or the ability to plan - people who should be poster children for birth control - were out there having kids. And not just having kids - having healthy, typical kids.
Having a child develop autism was like a punch in the face to us.
Anyway, getting off track here but not really because I'm trying to make a point of how we planned and prepared for everything and it all got thrown off-course. It wasn't fair to me and I was mad. I kept doing all the reading I could about autism and treatments and anything written by parents who have gone down this road. Actually, I still do. Right now I'm reading Cowboy & Wills by Monica Holloway.
With all that reading, I began to hear what needed to be said...We are very fortunate for what we have, even given the many challenges we have been given. We should always be thankful for our children and what they bring into our lives.
We love Reiss - autism and all - more than life itself. I can't imagine a life without him. I always wanted to homeschool any children James and I had and I would still love to homeschool. Right now, I don't feel I have what it takes for homeschooling a child with autism. Maybe someday, but as it it right now, it's just another dream fading away. When I think of how much I cherish Reiss and how much I would love to have him home, one can only imagine how I feel when I read of another parent wishing their child away at school and away from them.
I don't know if I've articulated my true feelings here. After all this, I know some people will still walk away thinking I beg for pity for our situation and that I think we have it worse than others. I don't want pity from anyone, and especially not from anyone who refuses to be thankful for what they have been given. I just wish for other children that their parents desired the company of their children as much as the children desire the parents' love and attention. And isn't that really all children are trying for when they carry on and try to drive us over the edge?
Just this evening was a good example of one of those times when I opened my mouth and said something I think some of the people needed to hear. Unfortunately, I don't think what I was really trying to say is what was heard by those who really needed to hear it.
Off and on today whenever I was on my computer and scrolling through my "live feed" on facebook, one message kept appearing. Several of my facebook friends said it. They all used a different way to say it, but it was the same message all the same: I want Christmas Break - or to be more politically correct, Holiday Break - to be over and I want my kids back in school.
I shot back with a comment of my own on my profile stating:
"(My full name).....thinks it's interesting how people will brag on how cool their kids are during regular school scheduling (when they are away all day) and then, a break comes along and every other comment on my fb feed is how they want their kids to go back to school. Let the flinging begin! If I can handle one w/autism & another w/dev... delays, I think I can handle the backlash this one might cause."
Depending on where you live in the country if you are in the United States, it's likely that today, December 21st, is the first day of a two-week (or more for some) break from school. When I see people complaining about wanting their kids gone and back in school on the very first day of a holiday break, I can't help but wonder what is so bad that they are looking forward to having their kids gone after such a short period of time. Worse yet, I wonder how their children feel. Seriously, that kind of attitude must radiate outwardly - and not only in the form of a facebook update for all to see.
Some people may think I'm judging and maybe I am. I don't think so. When a person comes right out and says that they want their child back in school, after only having them around for a little while...well, honestly, I think it is really sad and it pains me to wonder what kind of parental image the child involved has of their parents.
My husband and I deal with a lot of stress and a lot of challenges on a daily basis facing what we do with one child with autism and one with developmental delays. And yes, there are days when I need a break and the only break I am afforded is the three hours that Reiss is in preschool. So I'm not saying I never want a break and that I have to have my kids around me all the time (For the record though, while Reiss is at preschool I still have Milla so it's not much of a break.). Really, I am normal. I want a break now and then just as much as anyone.
That said, even as stressful as things get to be sometimes around here and as exhausted and rundown as I get, I still don't wish for my kids to be gone. I look forward to getting mommy breaks just as much as the next mommy. But I don't tire of their behaviors so easily that I wish for them to be gone for forty or more hours per week, as in, wanting them back in school after only a few hours of the first day of break.
I know some people will read this and still think I am judging. Or they will think that I'm saying my situation is worse. I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is that I think we all - myself included at times - so easily forget how good we really have it.
From around November of last year to around June of this year, I experienced a seemingly insurmountable level of stress and depression. This is actually very common for parents who find out their child has autism. It is a time of an almost-mourning type of behavior as the parent adjusts to the diagnosis of their child, the challenges it presents, and the emotional loss of what may have been for their child. Or, at least, what they - the parents - envisioned as what may have been.
During those months of depression, I was mad at the world. In some ways, I still am. I am mad because my husband and I waited until we felt we were mature enough as adults to have children. We waited until we were financially and emotionally stable. We tried for years to get pregnant, facing three years of infertility. Then we were finally blessed with that little positive sign on the pregnancy test. We prepared for years for everything regarding having children.
Except for autism. We didn't prepare for that.
And I was mad because so many irresponsible people in the world who don't possess even an inkling of foresight or the ability to plan - people who should be poster children for birth control - were out there having kids. And not just having kids - having healthy, typical kids.
Having a child develop autism was like a punch in the face to us.
Anyway, getting off track here but not really because I'm trying to make a point of how we planned and prepared for everything and it all got thrown off-course. It wasn't fair to me and I was mad. I kept doing all the reading I could about autism and treatments and anything written by parents who have gone down this road. Actually, I still do. Right now I'm reading Cowboy & Wills by Monica Holloway.
With all that reading, I began to hear what needed to be said...We are very fortunate for what we have, even given the many challenges we have been given. We should always be thankful for our children and what they bring into our lives.
We love Reiss - autism and all - more than life itself. I can't imagine a life without him. I always wanted to homeschool any children James and I had and I would still love to homeschool. Right now, I don't feel I have what it takes for homeschooling a child with autism. Maybe someday, but as it it right now, it's just another dream fading away. When I think of how much I cherish Reiss and how much I would love to have him home, one can only imagine how I feel when I read of another parent wishing their child away at school and away from them.
I don't know if I've articulated my true feelings here. After all this, I know some people will still walk away thinking I beg for pity for our situation and that I think we have it worse than others. I don't want pity from anyone, and especially not from anyone who refuses to be thankful for what they have been given. I just wish for other children that their parents desired the company of their children as much as the children desire the parents' love and attention. And isn't that really all children are trying for when they carry on and try to drive us over the edge?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Easy Readin'
You know how you get those flyers in the mail asking you to join this book club or that?
No? Well, I do, and they seem to come almost weekly. Back in the day - that is, before I became so frugal that I rarely purchase books - I used to take these companies up on their offers.
Not anymore. No, I got smart and now whenever I receive one of those flyers I mark the pages with all the books I'd like to read. I then set it aside and place it on my to-do list for me to log on to my library account and put holds on the books that sound interesting to me.
On Thursday, my number came up for two of the books I had placed holds:
The Duggars: 20 and Counting! by Michelle & Jim Bob Duggar
Hungry Girl by Lisa Lillien
After taking lunch to Daddy's work on Friday, the kids and I headed to the library to pick up the books. Anything Duggar-related always gets me a little excited so I was eager to get my hands on this book.
Did I mention we have a Duggar dance in our house? Yes....It's a bit hard to visualize but it basically consists of waving both arms above our heads in a strange fashion while half-yelling "Duggar! Duggar! Duggar......" over and over. We do this on Tuesday evenings just before 18 Kids and Counting airs on TLC. Call us weird. I know and I don't mind.
I finished reading the Duggars' book yesterday. This is unheard of for me A.C. (after children). During my B.C. years, depending on the book, I could breeze through most books in less than 24 hours. A.C. I am lucky if I finish most books in 24 weeks. Sad. I miss reading but what can ya' do?
The Duggar book is a very easy read and flows nicely in an almost-conversational tone. Here are some of the things I liked, disliked, and couldn't get enough of...
While I have been a Duggar fan for quite some time and knew a lot of the information surrounding how the Duggars became self-sufficient and debt-free, it did not make me enjoy it any less reading the minute details of each investment and sale the couple went through to get to where they are now. I really wish more of the public would pay attention to this amazing story not only because so many people seem to think this family must be destitute with that many children, but also because I think a good percentage of Americans could learn a lot from people who truly live debt-free lives such as the Duggars do.
In the book, Michelle not only provides organizational tips for how she keeps it all in order but the names of the resources from which she borrowed the ideas and customized to fit her family's needs. There is an awesome resource list in the back of the book that I actually plan on having James make a copy of at work (he owns the business - we're not stealing office supplies from someone else).
The book answers many of the most frequently asked questions the Duggars receive via email. And although many of the questions were very good ones, I was still left wondering some things.
For instance, Michelle discusses "correction" which is Duggar-ese for disciplining bad behavior. She also described "blanket time" (which I may even begin training Milla on) for infants and toddlers in order to keep them occupied. But many times when Reiss is misbehaving I ask myself how Michelle Duggar would handle such a situation when timeouts and taking toys from Reiss is not effective. Michelle doesn't have any autistic children (that I'm aware of!) and has probably not been in a situation where she's had to handle a child who is wired so differently than typical children but I can't help but think whatever she would do would be done in a very peaceful manner.....which can prove very difficult for me when Reiss continues to say, scream at the top of his lungs in the car even after having a timeout, after having whatever toy he has with him taken away, and still even after we have given up and decided to go home from wherever we were going.
Sometimes nothing seems to work. It's hard to stay ahead of the game when even the professionals working in the field of autism and teachers of special needs children tell me they have to switch things up often because many times disciplinary methods become ineffective after a period of time with autistic children. Just the other day, Reiss' teacher was telling me how they sometimes have to switch their disciplinary method two, three, or four times throughout the school year. Right now they use a stick system (where the child starts the day with three popsicle sticks in their wall pocket) but she said she is usually surprised if they make it to Christmas without the children making every day a challenge against the system.
Getting off-track here, as usual. Seriously....sometimes I don't see how you guys can even stick with me through to the end the way I so often get off-topic.
Long story short, regarding discipline, I was left wondering if there are never any serious disciplinary issues in the Duggar household or if they were simply not discussed.
I wish Jim Bob and Michelle would have gone further in-depth on things like how they handle going places with all the kids. Do they try to stick to naptimes? Or do they just go and if the kids take a nap, great, if not, whatever? How often do they leave the house? With that many children, even with older ones to help out, it seems like leaving very often would sometimes be more pain than it's worth. What about family planning? Do they really try or not? I was aware prior to reading the book that they do not use birth control because of the miscarriage years ago that their doctor felt happened because they conceived while Michelle was on the pill. Michelle briefly discussed their views on birth control and some things mentioned in the Bible but she never came out and said one way or another if they actively try to conceive or if babies just seem to happen easily for them.
Moving on to the topic of the Duggar mansion....I don't know that I would call this house a mansion like many people do. There is a floor plan of it in the book and yes, it's a large house but when I hear the word "mansion" I tend to think of a grand estate with lavish furnishings - something the Duggar house is anything but. Their house is very child-friendly, as anyone would imagine it to be.
Would I love to have their house? Honestly, I don't know. It has many features I would love such as the industrial size and equipped kitchen, the huge laundry room and amenities, and the indoor playground that is comparable to some businesses where outlandish admission fees are charged for children to spend an afternoon, but beyond that, it is missing some other things I would love to have if I had a house that large. I mean, if I'm going to have a 7000 square-foot house, it had better at least have a larger master bedroom than the Duggars made theirs. And I would want a library. And a media room. Yes, I know the Duggars don't watch a lot of television (and neither do we, for that matter) but now we're talking about MY 7000 square-foot house now, not theirs. Or, at least, the one it would be if I had one.
And oh yeah, I forgot, I'd want it to be somewhere other than Arkansas. Hey, I'm just sayin'......
No? Well, I do, and they seem to come almost weekly. Back in the day - that is, before I became so frugal that I rarely purchase books - I used to take these companies up on their offers.
Not anymore. No, I got smart and now whenever I receive one of those flyers I mark the pages with all the books I'd like to read. I then set it aside and place it on my to-do list for me to log on to my library account and put holds on the books that sound interesting to me.
On Thursday, my number came up for two of the books I had placed holds:
The Duggars: 20 and Counting! by Michelle & Jim Bob Duggar
Hungry Girl by Lisa Lillien
After taking lunch to Daddy's work on Friday, the kids and I headed to the library to pick up the books. Anything Duggar-related always gets me a little excited so I was eager to get my hands on this book.
Did I mention we have a Duggar dance in our house? Yes....It's a bit hard to visualize but it basically consists of waving both arms above our heads in a strange fashion while half-yelling "Duggar! Duggar! Duggar......" over and over. We do this on Tuesday evenings just before 18 Kids and Counting airs on TLC. Call us weird. I know and I don't mind.
I finished reading the Duggars' book yesterday. This is unheard of for me A.C. (after children). During my B.C. years, depending on the book, I could breeze through most books in less than 24 hours. A.C. I am lucky if I finish most books in 24 weeks. Sad. I miss reading but what can ya' do?
The Duggar book is a very easy read and flows nicely in an almost-conversational tone. Here are some of the things I liked, disliked, and couldn't get enough of...
While I have been a Duggar fan for quite some time and knew a lot of the information surrounding how the Duggars became self-sufficient and debt-free, it did not make me enjoy it any less reading the minute details of each investment and sale the couple went through to get to where they are now. I really wish more of the public would pay attention to this amazing story not only because so many people seem to think this family must be destitute with that many children, but also because I think a good percentage of Americans could learn a lot from people who truly live debt-free lives such as the Duggars do.
In the book, Michelle not only provides organizational tips for how she keeps it all in order but the names of the resources from which she borrowed the ideas and customized to fit her family's needs. There is an awesome resource list in the back of the book that I actually plan on having James make a copy of at work (he owns the business - we're not stealing office supplies from someone else).
The book answers many of the most frequently asked questions the Duggars receive via email. And although many of the questions were very good ones, I was still left wondering some things.
For instance, Michelle discusses "correction" which is Duggar-ese for disciplining bad behavior. She also described "blanket time" (which I may even begin training Milla on) for infants and toddlers in order to keep them occupied. But many times when Reiss is misbehaving I ask myself how Michelle Duggar would handle such a situation when timeouts and taking toys from Reiss is not effective. Michelle doesn't have any autistic children (that I'm aware of!) and has probably not been in a situation where she's had to handle a child who is wired so differently than typical children but I can't help but think whatever she would do would be done in a very peaceful manner.....which can prove very difficult for me when Reiss continues to say, scream at the top of his lungs in the car even after having a timeout, after having whatever toy he has with him taken away, and still even after we have given up and decided to go home from wherever we were going.
Sometimes nothing seems to work. It's hard to stay ahead of the game when even the professionals working in the field of autism and teachers of special needs children tell me they have to switch things up often because many times disciplinary methods become ineffective after a period of time with autistic children. Just the other day, Reiss' teacher was telling me how they sometimes have to switch their disciplinary method two, three, or four times throughout the school year. Right now they use a stick system (where the child starts the day with three popsicle sticks in their wall pocket) but she said she is usually surprised if they make it to Christmas without the children making every day a challenge against the system.
Getting off-track here, as usual. Seriously....sometimes I don't see how you guys can even stick with me through to the end the way I so often get off-topic.
Long story short, regarding discipline, I was left wondering if there are never any serious disciplinary issues in the Duggar household or if they were simply not discussed.
I wish Jim Bob and Michelle would have gone further in-depth on things like how they handle going places with all the kids. Do they try to stick to naptimes? Or do they just go and if the kids take a nap, great, if not, whatever? How often do they leave the house? With that many children, even with older ones to help out, it seems like leaving very often would sometimes be more pain than it's worth. What about family planning? Do they really try or not? I was aware prior to reading the book that they do not use birth control because of the miscarriage years ago that their doctor felt happened because they conceived while Michelle was on the pill. Michelle briefly discussed their views on birth control and some things mentioned in the Bible but she never came out and said one way or another if they actively try to conceive or if babies just seem to happen easily for them.
Moving on to the topic of the Duggar mansion....I don't know that I would call this house a mansion like many people do. There is a floor plan of it in the book and yes, it's a large house but when I hear the word "mansion" I tend to think of a grand estate with lavish furnishings - something the Duggar house is anything but. Their house is very child-friendly, as anyone would imagine it to be.
Would I love to have their house? Honestly, I don't know. It has many features I would love such as the industrial size and equipped kitchen, the huge laundry room and amenities, and the indoor playground that is comparable to some businesses where outlandish admission fees are charged for children to spend an afternoon, but beyond that, it is missing some other things I would love to have if I had a house that large. I mean, if I'm going to have a 7000 square-foot house, it had better at least have a larger master bedroom than the Duggars made theirs. And I would want a library. And a media room. Yes, I know the Duggars don't watch a lot of television (and neither do we, for that matter) but now we're talking about MY 7000 square-foot house now, not theirs. Or, at least, the one it would be if I had one.
And oh yeah, I forgot, I'd want it to be somewhere other than Arkansas. Hey, I'm just sayin'......
Monday, January 26, 2009
Developmental Preschool
It's sometimes funny how autism can throw a wrench into things. For example, for quite some time I have thought maybe homeschooling might be the way I would like for my children to receive an education. Well, hopefully, that's still not out of the question but I do wonder on most days how I will educate a child in my home with so many special needs. I mean, if it takes professionals who are college-degreed and experienced in the field of special education a good amount of time to figure out what "clicks" for a child with autism, then how in the world am I ever going to figure it all out? That's not discounting myself as a dummy, it's just the reality of things. Sure, I have two college degrees but in totally unrelated fields and I don't use either of them. Parents who homeschool typical (not derogatory, this is how parents of children with autism refer to children without autism) children run into extreme obstacles sometimes. Throw autism into the mix and it seems like the perfect recipe for a "child left behind."
Enough about me wondering whether or not the future will turn out how I want for it to turn out. The reality right now is that Reiss has qualified to attend developmental preschool through the public school system in our area. He will receive speech therapy and social skills therapy. Oh, and I must add, not a nanosecond too soon on the social skills therapy. The sooner he understands that "poke her in the eye" is not a socially acceptable way to preface an interaction with another child, the better!
In addition to the speech and social skills therapy, Reiss will also be watched by the physical and occupational therapists who come in to work with other children. If they feel he needs either service, they will recommend it to the school. It will be interesting to hear what they conclude regarding his needs in this area, as we have always felt that he is a bit "clumsy" - for lack of a better word.
Tomorrow is the big day for the little guy. He's been told he gets to start at the big boy school. I'm not really sure if he comprehends this but I know he is looking forward to "goin' to see the fee-ish." (That's "fish," as in, goldfish for those who are not familiar with toddlerese.)
Enough about me wondering whether or not the future will turn out how I want for it to turn out. The reality right now is that Reiss has qualified to attend developmental preschool through the public school system in our area. He will receive speech therapy and social skills therapy. Oh, and I must add, not a nanosecond too soon on the social skills therapy. The sooner he understands that "poke her in the eye" is not a socially acceptable way to preface an interaction with another child, the better!
In addition to the speech and social skills therapy, Reiss will also be watched by the physical and occupational therapists who come in to work with other children. If they feel he needs either service, they will recommend it to the school. It will be interesting to hear what they conclude regarding his needs in this area, as we have always felt that he is a bit "clumsy" - for lack of a better word.
Tomorrow is the big day for the little guy. He's been told he gets to start at the big boy school. I'm not really sure if he comprehends this but I know he is looking forward to "goin' to see the fee-ish." (That's "fish," as in, goldfish for those who are not familiar with toddlerese.)
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