Where ARE You, Supernanny???

Today has been one of those days where the suggestion of having a lock on the outside of my son's door no longer seems like a joke amongst a group of moms discussing their children but like a really great idea.

Not so long ago, Reiss and Milla and I used to go to a group gathering on Friday mornings at a local church. All the mothers would share some fellowship while our children played in an adjoining room. Quite often the conversation would turn to discussing our children and the funny things they had done recently and sometimes the not-so-funny problems of disciplining children. A few of these moms told me, in all seriousness, that they had switched the door handles on their child's room to make it so the lock was on the outside of the door. I used to laugh at such a notion....

No more.

ABA therapy cannot begin soon enough for us. I was hoping it would have already begun but unfortunately, we do not have enough therapists lined up yet. Actually, there's a little more to it than that but that's the long and short of it. We should be up and running within the next two weeks. If not, my sanity may not last.

Some days we have these really great days and then other days are just maddening beyond belief. We have already started going to a social skills group associated with the ABA group we are using and Reiss does really awesome there and pays attention fairly well to the other kids' therapists who take charge of the group. Once we are up and running with our own in-home ABA program, our therapist will go with us to the group as well. Until then, I take Reiss and Milla and he has to do what the other therapists tell him to do.

Yesterday was quite interesting. We went to the social skills group. Reiss behaved pretty well but did have his moments of non-compliance. When he gets a timeout with the ABA therapists, he is generally very compliant and does his "time for the crime." Overall, yesterday was no different, with the exception of one instance where Reiss put up a bit of a fuss before his timeout. The therapist wasn't having it and seconds later, Reiss was sitting quietly in a timeout.

Fast forward to about an hour later when we got home and he did something to get a timeout here and being the observer I've learned very quickly to be, I did everything exactly as the ABA therapists, only to be met with a four-year-old putting up a fight equivocal to that of maybe someone three times his size just getting him over to the designated timeout area.

Seriously, I don't understand what I am doing wrong. I can do everything exactly the same (or, at least, I'm pretty certain it's exactly the same) as the ABA therapists, even down to the detail of showing no emotion. However, what works like magic for them most often results in kicking, screaming, pinching, hitting, and total lack of cooperation to sit in the timeout area. Reiss will sit quietly in a timeout for therapists and for his teacher at school a lot of times, yet I can't even get him to stay in the same place in a timeout when restrained in a booster seat. The only way to keep him in one place for a timeout at home is to put him in a booster seat that has buckles on it and also to restrain the booster seat to something else so that it cannot move. We have, well had - we need to refasten the straps - our booster seat sitting on the floor for safety and strapped to the posts that make up the railing around our stairs leading to the basement.

If it doesn't sound safe, I can assure you it is safe. There is no way Reiss can fall over, strangle himself, fall down the stairs, or whatever else anyone may be thinking. And just a note for anyone who may be thinking of calling Child Protective Services on me, I've checked, this is not only safe but actually what is recommended for keeping a child safe during a period of timeout.

I just keep thinking if my sanity can last until the ABA begins, we will all be fine. Reiss took non-compliance to a new level today. He peed in his pants twice. He pooped in his pants three times. He went through several pairs of pants and then fussed and complained and harassed me endlessly for two hours about how he has no pants that fit him. His ideal pants are Goodwill purhased, been through who knows how many children, faded beyond belief jeans....or home pants, as he calls them.

Now, I have nothing against secondhand clothes - they are practically all I grew up with and I still continue to buy from Goodwill occasionally when I can find something I like. However, for Reiss to say that he has no pants that fit him is simply ludicrous considering the fact that his size 4 and size 5 wardrobe has been complete since before he was even three years old, due to the fact that I exclusively buy him Gymboree clothing when it is out of season and on clearance and during Gymbucks earning and redemption periods and with coupons and using my Gymboree Visa and Gymboree Rewards program and on and on and on.....my method for getting Gymboree clothes for next to no money out of pocket is a whole 'nother post all its own and I won't bore anyone with that sort of thing today.

Needless to say, it breaks my heart when I see several pairs of excellent quality size 4 Gymboree jeans with those little marked down pricetags still hanging from them getting pushed to the far reaches of Reiss's closet all while he complains about having no home pants clean because all his crappy Goodwill jeans that cost more than the Gymboree jeans are dirty because he either pooped or peed in them.

And all this going on while Milla is trying to take a nap and keeping him at a low roar is like getting an elephant to tread lightly on a glass roof....

So going back to my original question....

Where ARE you, Supernanny???

Of all the lucrative ideas people have come up with to swindle parents of children with autism out of their dwindling financial resources, why hasn't someone come up with the idea of being a Supernanny-type professional exclusively for children with autism? Now that would be someone I would hire...

Breakfast with Santa Claus

Reiss, Milla, and Daddy at one of the craft tables. They made little reindeer ornaments with popsicle sticks, pipe cleaners, and googley eyes.

Reiss getting ready to tell Santa Claus to bring him a Colts shirt, please - with buttons! We're still trying to figure that one out.

Reiss surprised us with his willingness to sit on Santa's lap. Milla wasn't having any of it!

Another surprise.....Reiss not only did not throw a fit about the horse, he was very willing to check him out and even give him a little pat. If I sound pessimistic, I don't mean to. I'm just going by most of our experiences with animals. Reiss and Milla are both terrified of most animals - even Grandma's chihuahua. In their defense though, Grandma's chihuahua is yippity-yappy and more hyper than Reiss doped up on candy bars.

Dancer and his merry red-painted hooves. This was the last photo I took before we all went on a very, very chilly carriage ride.

Yesterday was our breakfast with Santa Claus. The event was held at a church not far from our house and was sponsored by our county's autism support group. Although we had to take our own food in order to be able to stick to eating GFCF, it was nice to be around others who "get it."

No one around to point, stare, and whisper if our children began having an all-out meltdown over something as trivial as a drop of water getting on their shirt or having to have the food wiped from their faces (as was the case with us). Really, I'm not prejudiced against people who only have typical children but I do get tired of the looks we receive. If pointing and staring at children like mine is the example these parents are setting for their own children, it's no wonder why their kids grow up to be the ones who bully kids like mine once they are in school.

I will not go off on that tangent though. This is supposed to be a positive post!

Reiss and Milla got to eat breakfast at a table decorated with Christmas decor and marshmallows for snow, work on crafts, see Santa Claus, use bathrooms away from home (which is the whole reason we went there, right?), and take a carriage ride. It was incredibly cold yesterday but fun was had by all. Other than the mouth-wiping incident, I would say it was one of our best outings in quite some time.

Little Fingers, Big Actions

As you may have already read, last night I had a big long post typed out and was still typing when POOF! My computer screen went black. My sweet little Milla had hit the reset button and I lost everything except for the title of the post. Guess that's what I get for typing on my dinosaur in the basement instead of the laptop I love.

It's probably for the best, as it was all just a random bunch of rambling, part of which could have been classified as complaining......like the part about how it took four (yes, four!) employees - one of whom made a snide comment that amounted to it being my fault that it was taking so long - and nearly twenty minutes to do a simple return transaction for me at a store over the weekend. But I'm not going to get into that again because everything happens for a reason and Milla turning off my computer was obviously a reminder that I should not be complaining.

Earlier this afternoon I was on facebook and one of the groups I belong to is dedicated to parents of autism. To be more specific, it is actually the facebook homepage for Laura Shumaker's book, A Regular Guy: Growing Up With Autism. Occasionally, Laura poses questions to group members and her latest question is, "What is your child's most frustrating behavior/quirk?" I was reading through the responses and was comforted in knowing that many of the behaviors Reiss demonstrates are right in line with many other children with autism.

I realize that may sound strange that I am comforted by other parents experiencing what can be some really annoying behaviors in their children - and not just annoying, but some that are downright dangerous. It's not some weird sadistic streak in me - it's just that none of the autistic children I know personally exhibit many of the same behaviors as Reiss. For example, one of Reiss' dangerous behaviors is that he runs off a lot of times with no regard for his own safety. Discipline has proven ineffective in curbing this. And if it's all my bad parenting to blame, then that doesn't really explain why he continues to do it at school when his teachers discipline him for it as well. What comforted me in reading some of the responses though, was that many, many parents replied that their children do the same thing - will run off without any regard at all for anything.

If you have a facebook account, I highly encourage you to check out and join the homepage I mentioned. Even if you don't have an autistic child, there is a lot to be learned from those of us who are living it every day. I don't pay attention to the nasty looks in public near as much as I used to but if I can educate just one person about autism and how it can sometimes make children appear simply as spoiled brats, then I've done something worthwhile. Anyhoo, here is the link: A Regular Guy: Growing Up With Autism I'm not really sure what you'll be able to see if you don't have a facebook account....probably nothing. If that's the case, go here: Laura Shumaker Going there won't allow you to read about the daily experiences of parents of autistic children, but it is a pretty good resource for finding other websites about autism.

Welp, that about does it for my rambling for the day. I've got a meatloaf in the oven and the aroma is to die for!....kids are napping...the wind outside is fierce.....it is a perfect Autumn day for comfort food and apple pie......Alas, I just began dieting again today, so no apple pie for me. Not that there is one, anyway.

Easy Readin'

You know how you get those flyers in the mail asking you to join this book club or that?

No? Well, I do, and they seem to come almost weekly. Back in the day - that is, before I became so frugal that I rarely purchase books - I used to take these companies up on their offers.

Not anymore. No, I got smart and now whenever I receive one of those flyers I mark the pages with all the books I'd like to read. I then set it aside and place it on my to-do list for me to log on to my library account and put holds on the books that sound interesting to me.

On Thursday, my number came up for two of the books I had placed holds:
The Duggars: 20 and Counting! by Michelle & Jim Bob Duggar
Hungry Girl by Lisa Lillien

After taking lunch to Daddy's work on Friday, the kids and I headed to the library to pick up the books. Anything Duggar-related always gets me a little excited so I was eager to get my hands on this book.

Did I mention we have a Duggar dance in our house? Yes....It's a bit hard to visualize but it basically consists of waving both arms above our heads in a strange fashion while half-yelling "Duggar! Duggar! Duggar......" over and over. We do this on Tuesday evenings just before 18 Kids and Counting airs on TLC. Call us weird. I know and I don't mind.

I finished reading the Duggars' book yesterday. This is unheard of for me A.C. (after children). During my B.C. years, depending on the book, I could breeze through most books in less than 24 hours. A.C. I am lucky if I finish most books in 24 weeks. Sad. I miss reading but what can ya' do?

The Duggar book is a very easy read and flows nicely in an almost-conversational tone. Here are some of the things I liked, disliked, and couldn't get enough of...

While I have been a Duggar fan for quite some time and knew a lot of the information surrounding how the Duggars became self-sufficient and debt-free, it did not make me enjoy it any less reading the minute details of each investment and sale the couple went through to get to where they are now. I really wish more of the public would pay attention to this amazing story not only because so many people seem to think this family must be destitute with that many children, but also because I think a good percentage of Americans could learn a lot from people who truly live debt-free lives such as the Duggars do.

In the book, Michelle not only provides organizational tips for how she keeps it all in order but the names of the resources from which she borrowed the ideas and customized to fit her family's needs. There is an awesome resource list in the back of the book that I actually plan on having James make a copy of at work (he owns the business - we're not stealing office supplies from someone else).

The book answers many of the most frequently asked questions the Duggars receive via email. And although many of the questions were very good ones, I was still left wondering some things.

For instance, Michelle discusses "correction" which is Duggar-ese for disciplining bad behavior. She also described "blanket time" (which I may even begin training Milla on) for infants and toddlers in order to keep them occupied. But many times when Reiss is misbehaving I ask myself how Michelle Duggar would handle such a situation when timeouts and taking toys from Reiss is not effective. Michelle doesn't have any autistic children (that I'm aware of!) and has probably not been in a situation where she's had to handle a child who is wired so differently than typical children but I can't help but think whatever she would do would be done in a very peaceful manner.....which can prove very difficult for me when Reiss continues to say, scream at the top of his lungs in the car even after having a timeout, after having whatever toy he has with him taken away, and still even after we have given up and decided to go home from wherever we were going.

Sometimes nothing seems to work. It's hard to stay ahead of the game when even the professionals working in the field of autism and teachers of special needs children tell me they have to switch things up often because many times disciplinary methods become ineffective after a period of time with autistic children. Just the other day, Reiss' teacher was telling me how they sometimes have to switch their disciplinary method two, three, or four times throughout the school year. Right now they use a stick system (where the child starts the day with three popsicle sticks in their wall pocket) but she said she is usually surprised if they make it to Christmas without the children making every day a challenge against the system.

Getting off-track here, as usual. Seriously....sometimes I don't see how you guys can even stick with me through to the end the way I so often get off-topic.

Long story short, regarding discipline, I was left wondering if there are never any serious disciplinary issues in the Duggar household or if they were simply not discussed.

I wish Jim Bob and Michelle would have gone further in-depth on things like how they handle going places with all the kids. Do they try to stick to naptimes? Or do they just go and if the kids take a nap, great, if not, whatever? How often do they leave the house? With that many children, even with older ones to help out, it seems like leaving very often would sometimes be more pain than it's worth. What about family planning? Do they really try or not? I was aware prior to reading the book that they do not use birth control because of the miscarriage years ago that their doctor felt happened because they conceived while Michelle was on the pill. Michelle briefly discussed their views on birth control and some things mentioned in the Bible but she never came out and said one way or another if they actively try to conceive or if babies just seem to happen easily for them.

Moving on to the topic of the Duggar mansion....I don't know that I would call this house a mansion like many people do. There is a floor plan of it in the book and yes, it's a large house but when I hear the word "mansion" I tend to think of a grand estate with lavish furnishings - something the Duggar house is anything but. Their house is very child-friendly, as anyone would imagine it to be.

Would I love to have their house? Honestly, I don't know. It has many features I would love such as the industrial size and equipped kitchen, the huge laundry room and amenities, and the indoor playground that is comparable to some businesses where outlandish admission fees are charged for children to spend an afternoon, but beyond that, it is missing some other things I would love to have if I had a house that large. I mean, if I'm going to have a 7000 square-foot house, it had better at least have a larger master bedroom than the Duggars made theirs. And I would want a library. And a media room. Yes, I know the Duggars don't watch a lot of television (and neither do we, for that matter) but now we're talking about MY 7000 square-foot house now, not theirs. Or, at least, the one it would be if I had one.

And oh yeah, I forgot, I'd want it to be somewhere other than Arkansas. Hey, I'm just sayin'......

And The Award Goes To......

ME!!!!

Which award, you say? Why, only the most suburban housewife coveted award, of course! No, not the Soccer Mom-of-the-Year trophy. This award is much more well-deserved, yet achievements leading up to it are never thought out or planned for in advance. I'm talking about the Public Mommy Tantrum Medal of Honor.

Yes, my motherly patience was put to the test today while waiting on a cash register error to be corrected at Walgreens (only one of my most favorite stores in the world) today. This week's ad clearly states the new product by Soft Soap called Nutri Serums Body Wash is free after $3.99 in Register Rewards.

Before paying today, I specifically requested to pay in Cosmetics because there was a girl working over there and I had seven coupons and just about every time I go to Walgreens, I have a problem. And really, who wants to be that person at the main register at the front of the store holding up the line because the $.50 coupon for tampons (or whatever) didn't ring up correctly? Not me! I love my coupons and I can be maniacal about them (just ask my husband) but I'm also not going to stand there while twenty people are rolling their eyes at me for wanting to get my fifty cents deducted (hey, I worked hard for that!). Cut me some slack - I'm not a masochist.

Yes, Walgreens is one of my favorite stores in the whole world but it doesn't change the fact that there always seems to be a problem every single time I pay them a visit. Really....every time. My husband knows better when I say, "I will be right back" as he drops me at the door and waits in the car with the kids. I never come right back and unfortunately, it's almost never by any fault of my own.

Oh no - No, when I'm at Walgreens, if it's not an item ringing up incorrectly, it's something else. Sometimes they scan all my coupons (oh yes, I do watch them!) but then I get my receipt and something is missing from the coupon deductions. Today's issue was my Register Reward did not print for the body wash.

By the way, body wash is one of those things on my list of toiletries where my motto is as follows: "If you're paying for it, you're paying too much money." Between all the freebies I've gotten over the years from CVS Extra Care Bucks and Walgreens Register Rewards (formerly from their rebate catalog), I haven't paid out of pocket for razors, toothbrushes, shampoo, conditioner, or body wash (and the list goes on and on) in years. And I have enough stocked to keep us in business, or clean at least, for a few years to come.

Anyhoo....getting off-track here as usual. And gee, I wonder why my kids can't sit still for five minutes just to watch some cartoons and give me a break.

So my Register Reward did not print and Lucy Loo Hoo, the cashier, had to call the 12-year-old manager over to get the problem fixed and of course, that meant waiting for what seemed like an eternity.

Somewhere in all this, my monkey children saw the opportunity for attack. Or more specifically, Reiss saw his window of opportunity to grab about twenty gossip rags from the rack fastened to the checkout counter and have his own little drugstore party. I've never seen so many photos of Jon Gosselin all in one place! He was on the floor, in the cart, on the counter. It was like a Jon-apalooza!

After cleaning up the Gosselin mess (I bet Kate wishes it were this easy for her too!), I had to enforce the one-hand-on-the-cart rule, which is almost always a sure sign of a coming tantrum. Luckily, this time it wasn't. Instead of a tantrum, Reiss started grabbing bottle after (breakable) bottle of brightly colored nail polish from a display and placing - or perhaps, dropping is a better word for what he was doing - them on the floor at his feet. Thank goodness, none of them broke.

All the while, I was doing my best Michelle Duggar-esque picture of saintly motherhood while waiting on the manager to get her butt over to Cosmetics. Seriously, I think they must have had to call over and get her from the neighboring Steak~N~Shake or something, as long as it took here to get there.

Eventually, the manager arrived.......E. Vent. Ually.

Frankly, I thought I was doing a pretty good job of being patient and staying calm while my little angels (I have to use the plural form so as not to sound as though Reiss was the only guilty party - but for the record, he was) attempted to bring Walgreens - or at the very least, the entire Cosmetics department - crashing to the ground.

However, maybe my version of the story is skewed and/or biased because I witnessed no less than three gawking individuals quickly turn their heads as I rose from picking up the fingernail polish bottles. They were all older folks too, so I'm sure they were doing the "Parents these days, good grief...." line in their heads. I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself for using restraint and not using the "He's autistic, you ___hole!" line I learned from one of Jenny McCarthy's books.

Several strewn magazines, unbroken fingernail polish bottles, and maybe all of ten minutes later we were on our way out the door with our $3.99....in cash, because 12-year-old manager girl didn't know how to make a Register Reward print after the fact.

Oh yeah...I forgot to mention the best part of our Walgreens trip. As I was picking out candy bars for Daddy for free ($.49 each plus a $1 off 2 coupon = FREE!), Reiss said "Why are we getting dog food?" Oh, I've taught him well! And this is why my kids never - really, NEVER - beg for candy in the checkout lines.

BWA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!

A Little Modesty, Please!

It has never really occured to me before now that I may want to start displaying a bit of modesty around Reiss when breastfeeding Milla. Yes, I will concede to the fact that I am sometimes just plain clueless in certain areas but considering the fact that Reiss does have autism, I've just continued to whip out the "nursin's," as he calls them, whenever Milla is ready to eat.

At only three years old, honestly, I see no harm in him still seeing my breasts. By admitting to such a thing, I will hopefully not have to open my door in the near future to find a CPS (Child Protective Services) caseworker here to make a query of the daily goings-on in our household. Hey, you never know....some people get bent out of shape over the silliest things. I once read a news story about some parents whose child was taken because they were partaking in what we will call "intimate interactions" with their fifteen-month-old in the same room. And if you're reading this and saying, "Well, they should have the child taken away if they're going to do that in front of him!" to that, I say, PUHLEEZE get your panties unbunched! Some children in the world continue to breastfeed until five years of age. That's not exactly for me, but I don't see the harm in a child seeing a sibling take part in a natural feeding process.

Anyhoo.....With Reiss now in developmental preschool, the teachers and therapists working in his room write in a spiral notebook (that we provided because it it a required item on the preschoolers' supply list) any information they feel is relevant for the parents to know. Today, I read a note from the speech therapist that Reiss has been pointing at the teachers' breasts and saying something along the lines of "that one nurse." I'm not really sure what that's all about and we have never heard him use those words specifically so I'm going to have to look into that on Tuesday when we take him to school. Apparently, this is not "socially acceptable" behavior - I think that is how it was worded, anyway. I'm sure it is not acceptable but somehow I forgot to teach him that...or perhaps I should say, "try" to teach him that, since I still haven't quite acquired a knack for figuring out what he will hold onto in memory and what he will let pass him by.

It's truly amazing how caught up I seem to get in taking care of Reiss and making sure his needs (and demands and whinings and everything else) are met that I sometimes miss the obvious - like teaching him not to point at women's breasts and make comments. How embarassing is that for me that I've totally missed the boat on that??? Seriously...So not only do I get to question the situation at school the next time we go in and in what context Reiss is exhibiting this latest behavior, but I also get the joy of exposing myself all out there for the teacher and therapists to see my failure to keep up with teaching Reiss social graces while dealing with all the other challenges of raising him "right." GAAAAHHHH....Isn't it a wonderful life?