Mommy Deserves a Timeout

Oh goody, goody! When I went to pick up Reiss today, I was "that parent." No, I am not proud of myself and I am sure my son's teacher at the church where he goes to Parent's Day Out now most likely thinks I am psychotic but sheesh.....

Reiss goes to a Parent's Day Out (PDO) program on Wednesday mornings. It used to be on Wednesday and Friday mornings until he started going to preschool on Tuesday and Thursday mornings as well. Four mornings in a row being with other adults just seems to be too much for him we have found. Once Friday rolls around, he can barely focus long enough to do as he is told and tends to be non-compliant more often than he is compliant.

So this morning started out nice enough....I got Reiss off to PDO with no problems. Granted, it was a tiny bit late but it was either that or show up with him in a poopy diaper. His teachers have enough to contend with while he's there - I'm not going to make it worse by having them break their morning routine to change his dirty diaper. Although I know some parents wouldn't think twice doing such a thing, it would annoy me if I were the teacher and and I just wouldn't feel right doing it.

Reiss was at PDO...off to the mall with Milla to go walking. We walked one lap, which is just slightly more than a mile. Normally, we do two or three laps but we got there only a few minutes before the stores were opening so prime walking time was over and most people there were in there to shop (how dare they!!!) and were milling and dawdling and basically getting in my way and breaking my momentum.

Milla started getting a little out of control so I let her out of the stroller to walk. We went to the bookstore because I noticed the newest John Grisham novel is on the shelves. Now let me just state for the record that I normally do not buy many books anymore. I would much rather get them from the library and use the money for something else. John Grisham books are a different story.

An ex-boyfriend got me addicted to John Grisham several years ago and since then, I have always bought his books. His legal thrillers always come out in February and I'm always right on top of it - to a point where I usually know the name of his next novel in the November or December prior to their debut. In years past, I have had my name on the list at the bookstore to ensure that I would get a copy from the first shipment. And then I practically count the days until February and the date when the book arrives in stock. However, due to this last year being so rough, I totally forgot all about John Grisham. Yes, it shocked me too.

Milla and I went to the bookstore and bought The Associate. She browsed the kids' section while I supervised. We then headed out and down to Chick-Fil-A. Milla got a kids meal and I got nothing because I knew I would end up eating most of her food. Then it was off to the shoe store for a pair of semi-dressy sandals so that I don't have to wear the same black flip flops that I unashamedly wore every single day last summer.

We left the mall and then it was off to Krispy Kreme to get donuts for the carpenters working on our home remodeling project and then to Burger King to get DH a meal. Yes, we cheat sometimes when DS isn't around. I always pay the price and feel yucky when we don't eat GFCF but sometimes I do it anyway. Today wasn't so bad since the only "bad" stuff I had was the coating on the Chick-Fil-A chicken. After my credit card was done working out, we headed home while DH's meal was still hot.

I was able to get a shower in relative peace. DH was watching Milla and if you can imagine drowning out the sounds of a house being demolished around you, my shower was a lot better than some days. After getting out of the shower and making myself presentable, it was nearly time to go get Reiss.

Milla could have behaved a little better at the mall or even better, taken a nap while strolling, but overall, I had a pretty good morning. Off to get Reiss.

I showed up and he looked pretty happy but I could tell he had recently stopped crying. I had my back turned to him so I could back Milla's stroller into his classroom and while doing so, Reiss let out a blood-curdling scream. Then he started screaming about not wanting his diaper changed, even though it had just been changed right before I arrived. He would not stop screaming or crying. He would not put the toy away that he was playing with....we were in the middle of Meltdown Central. I was trying very hard to get him to stop crying and nothing was working and he was adamant about not putting the toy away so he got a break, which is just a timeout renamed because he seems to see it differently calling it a "timout" than calling it a break.

All the while, this one mother who I've kinda always felt looks down her nose at me every time I see her, is staring at Reiss and looking at me and I had another one of those Jenny McCarthy moments when I wanted to give her the most evil look I could muster up and yell to her, "He's autistic, you *****!!!" But I didn't because I would never do that and certainly not to a stranger and definitely not in a church and why in the world is she being so judgemental to begin with, but especially in a church???? Am I the only one who sees the irony in that?

So anyway.....I'm not a pushover parent but I do feel that I have to pick my battles carefully with Reiss and with so darn many of them, I'm not going to make one of them be an argument over whether the chosen method of discipline is called a "timeout" or a "break." While Reiss was in break, I went to get all his things together and had a little bit of a neurotic moment myself. I grabbed his papers out of his cubby drawer, slammed the drawer shut, balled my hands up into fists, and did a little growl. I didn't look but I think his teacher may have seen me and probably thought I was the one who needed a timeout.

Some days I think I am living Groundhog Day, the movie. It just feels like we have the same tantrums over the same stupid things every single day. To Reiss, I'm sure they are not stupid at all but I can't help feeling like I'm going in circles when we have the same meltdowns every day:

Reiss: Don't wanna cry with tears.
Me: Then don't cry, Reiss. And there won't be tears.
Reiss: Want your (he means "my" but he has problems with "my," "your," etc.) eyes to be blue.
Me: Then don't cry, Reiss, and your eyes will be blue.
Reiss: Don't want your eyes to be red.
Me: Then don't cry, Reiss, and your eyes will stay blue.

Every single day for the last few months we have had this same conversation. I can't help but feel like I'm chasing my tail.