What Are We Teaching?

Anyone who knows me well knows I have a strange fascination (a.k.a. obsession) with very large families, so it's no surprise that I try to tune in to TLC whenever there is a new episode of "17 Kids and Counting" being aired. I just love those Duggars! By the way, Jessa is my favorite Duggar child. I think this obsession may have been born because of the dismal failure to stay together that I experienced in my own family of my mother, father, sister, and myself.....but that's an entirely seperate post.

Anyway, now TLC has a new show that airs immediately after "17 Kids..." called "Toddlers & Tiaras." It's a show that features the lives of child pageant contestants. If you are at all familiar with the Duggar family you know they are ultra-conservative. They are full-blooded, card-carrying members of the Quiverfull Movement. They believe every thought and action they carry out is part of the Almighty's plan long before they ever set foot here on Earth. So is it just me or does anyone else see the extreme irony in the airing of these two shows airing back to back?

Normally, I wouldn't even consider watching a show like "Toddlers & Tiaras" just on principle but this evening I couldn't help myself - I had to take a peek at this train wreck. I was nursing Milla to sleep and decided to watch for a few minutes, thinking perhaps I've got it all wrong about these pageant people...maybe they're not the kind of people I think they are. It only took about five minutes into the show for me to figure out that I wasn't wrong - my preconceived notion that the parents of these little girls are materialistic, vain, insecure, and sometimes downright catty was right on target. They're living a dream through their children. It's sad. One part of me wanted to feel sorry for them and the other wanted to knock them on their heads with the pageant trophies! What's worse is that pageants don't come cheap when you consider all the fees, gowns and other outfits, makeup, coaching, travelling, and who knows what else and some of these people look like they're living penny to penny, hand to mouth!

So that brings me to this: I can't help but think what these parents are teaching their children. Seriously, I have to wonder if this has ever even crossed their minds. They are literally teaching their daughters from a very young age that good looks and "bling" and competition are what it's all about. How sad that these little girls are going to grow up thinking their looks will get them by in life. Having gone from being slim to extremely overweight and back to being relatively slim, I, myself know that good looks will usually reap higher benefits in life. Good looks may even be what "gets the job" for a person but they aren't what will keep that person in the job.

Quite often - not every day, but I would say a few times per week - I will do something and then I have to take a step back and ask myself, "What am I teaching my children?" It may be that I've slammed a door when I'm frustrated. It could be that I've let myself get so worked up with my kids that I yell. Or sometimes, as was the case this morning, it might be that I decided to eat chocolate chip cookies for breakfast, rather than eating something more nutritious.

I believe we teach our children by example. Because of that, I really do try to make a conscious effort to put my best out there every day for my children. This is even more important for parents of autistic children too, simply because children on the autism spectrum are very visual and take things very literally. Perfection is not something I possess, as none of us do, so I'm willing to admit my faults and yes, they do make an appearance at least once daily. I should get off my soapbox now but I will say this: No matter how frustrated I get or how lazy I become that I end up eating a non-nutritious breakfast, at least I know that I'm not teaching my children vanity and insecurity are the ways to succeed in life.